Chasing The Truth
by popcan11
Summary: Rory is sent to live with her Aunt Lorelai for the year. She meets Luke Danes and his son, Jess Danes. What she thought would be a horrible experience ends up being the ride of her life. AU. Gilmore Girls in REVERSE, in a sense.
1. Welcome, Rory

Next Text Message

5:15 pm Mom:  
>Rory, honey, are you still upset?<p>

5:34 pm Mom:  
>Rory? Are you there?<p>

6:10 pm Mom:  
>Answer me, Rory! I am your mother!<p>

6:55 pm Mom:  
>You cannot possibly be this angry.<p>

7:23 pm Mom:  
>Fine. I'll call you when I land in Paris. You better answer.<p>

I sighed and flipped my phone shut before tossing it in my bag. I heard the flight attendant call for all passengers boarding Flight 405. This is what happens when you're me. Your mother takes a job in Paris to continue to grow her fashion line and you get shipped off to live with your Aunt Lorelai, whom you have never met, for an entire year. You're only sixteen. Sixteen! You have to drop your friends, your school, and your entire world just because your mother wants to make another hundred grand, although she definitely doesn't deserve it.

I stood up, carrying my purse in one hand and my carry on bag in the other. I showed the flight attendant my ticket and I entered the plane. I found my seat near the back. Luckily, I had a window seat. I shoved my carry on in the compartment above me and took my seat. I closed my eyes and remembered the night my mother flipped my world upside down.

It was right before school. I was in the kitchen eating a pop tart, much to my mothers distaste, when she walked in and had that serious look painted on her face. I knew we were about to have a talk.

"Rory, we need to talk."

I took a huge bite of my breakfast, waiting for her to begin. She pressed her lips together and then licked them slowly. I stared at her in that moment and was once again taken back by how we looked nothing alike. She had long blonde hair, while I was brunette; she had plain brown eyes while mine sparkled blue. She was so put together and proper, always organizing dinner parties and going to lunch with important people. All I wanted to do was pig out on Chinese food while lounging on the couch and reading _Howl. _We hardly ever got along; we were two completely different people. I was so much more like my dad, Chris. He had dark hair, just like me, and he let me do things I wanted to do, like jam out to old records and watch stupid movies until the sun went up. They were divorced however.

They got divorced right before I was born, apparently. He was still always in my life, though. All the birthdays and social events my mother insisted on throwing for me, he was right there all along side me the whole time. And I loved him dearly for that.

"So, Rory, you remember how I told you about that offer I received to go to Paris for a year to expand my fashion line?" My mother asked me, folding her hands in her lap in this irritatingly proper way.

"Yes." I said simply. My mother was the designer of a huge clothing line called, _Zoey Clothing_, named after my mother herself, Jennifer Zoe Gilmore. My Grandma, Emily, was quite proud of her achievements.

"Well," She said, chewing on her lower lip, "I'm going to take it. I'm gong to Paris for an entire year."

I nearly choked on my pop tart. "What!" I exclaimed.

She nodded her head, "I'm going to Paris."

"And what about me?" I asked, suddenly furious, "I have school, mom! And... and friends.. and a life. I just can't pack my things and walk away and jet off to Paris!"

My mother sighed and shook her head at me. "Rory, you're not going with me."

Okay. This confused me. I was sixteen, not old enough to live on my own. "If I'm going with you then I know I'm not staying here. So where am I going?"

"Well, your father is far too busy with work and his new girlfriend and their baby to watch you so therefore, I was left with no choice. You will stay with your Aunt Lorelai in Stars Hollow for the year."

I practically spit out my pop tart at this. "Are you serious! I've never even met her!"

"And with good reason. We weren't even on speaking terms, Rory. But I had no other option."

"So, I have to leave my entire life behind and start over? In Connecticut!"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. We live in California,yes but Connecticut is a beautiful state!"

"I'll have to go to school there. Do you know how long it took me to get into the elite boarding school here in LA? And now I have to leave it, leave Dean and all my friends."

Dean was my boyfriend. He was the sweetest guy I had ever met. I had to leave him, leave the love of my life. I went LA Academy, a top of the notch academy located _only _in LA. I had to apply four times to get in. Four times! Now, I had to give up my spot and I was only a Junior. My life was falling apart.

"Mom, I don't even know Aunt Lorelai. And I'm supposed to live with her?"

My mother rolled her eyes. "Rory, you don't need to know her. She's... she's just like you."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You'll see."

I didn't want to see. I didn't want to leave.

I fell asleep on the plane ride. I awoke to the sweaty guy next to me snoring way too loudly. We were landing. As soon as our plane stopped, I pulled out my cell phone, checking for any missed text or calls. My mother had called me, but I was still not speaking with her. Dean had texted me. I opened it up and smiled weakly at his words:

11:40 pm Dean:  
>I miss you already, babe.<p>

I typed out a quick response and hit SEND:

I miss you more. We're going to make this work, okay? :)

11:45 pm DEAN:  
>Okay :)<p>

I felt my eyes filling up with tears. God, leaving him was definitely the hardest part. We had been dating for an entire year, he was my entire world. He made me laugh and made me feel safe, protected, loved. I wiped my eyes and sad, confused and drowsy from my sleep, I stood up and reached above me for my luggage.

* * *

><p>I stepped off the plane and saw a lady dancing and waving a sign that said "Welcome, Rory!" I stopped walking when I saw her face. And she stopped waving the sign dramatically. We just stared at each other, lost in each others faces.<p>

She looked just like me.

Or more, I looked just like her.

_Just like her._

Same blue eyes. Same dark hair. Same body type. Her eyes welled up with tears at the sight of me. She came rushing over to me and engulfed me in a hug wordlessly. I was shocked but I hugged her back, wrapping my arms around her tightly.

"Oh, Rory it's so good to see you!"

I smiled and was polite with her. "You too!" She released me from her hug but kept her arms on my shoulders, surveying me.

"Are you hungry? I am so hungry. But I'm always hungry honestly. Which is okay because there's Luke's Diner and he has-"

"Luke? Who is that?" I asked.

"Oh, Luke is just... Luke. You'll see. Oh, and you get to meet his son, Jess! He works at the diner too. And Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"He's totally cute!"

I smiled weakly. "I have a boyfriend."

She shrugged. "Eh, should've seen that one coming. Of course you do. I mean, just like at you! You're like a hotter version of Zoey Deschanel."

Together, we walked through the airport and Lorelai, I mean my Aunt Lorelai, didn't stop talking long enough to breathe. She reminded me of myself, however. Always something to say, always something to add to the conversation. I tried to get a few words in here and there but the woman just wouldn't stop. I smiled to myself as she went on a tangent about cooking and how she sucked at cooking and that's why she spent all of her days at Luke's Diner.

"Do you cook? I bet you cook. With Jennifer being your mom and all."

"I stick my pop tarts in the toaster. Does that count?"

Lorelai smiled and threw her arm around my shoulder. "By my standards? That makes you practically Rachel Ray, kid."

I smirked and after we got my luggage, went out to her car. I threw my luggage in the backseat and nestled down into the passenger seat, closing my eyes.

"Tired?"

"Very much so." I said, sighing.

"You want coffee? I got lots of coffee. Can't survive without it, you know. It's like my water. Totally an accurate substitute."

I smiled softly. "I'm fine for right now."

"How weird do you feel? Being here?" Lorelai asked softly, putting her car into drive.

"On a scale of one to ten? Nine."

Lorelai nodded. "Understandable. I can promise you this much, Rory. I'll try my best. Alright?"

I was suddenly curious as to why she decided to take me in the first place. My mother had said they didn't even get along, hadn't been on speaking terms and that she was a last resort.

"Why did you agree to take me in?"

Lorelai turned to me, confused. "What?"

"Why did you agree? I know you and my mom don't get along so why would you do such a big favor for her?"

Lorelai swallowed and suddenly looked uncomfortable. After a moment, she shrugged her shoulders and said with a smile, "Because she's my sister. And that's what family does. You protect each other, help each other out when they need it."

I gave her a small, reassuring smile. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

><p>I fell asleep after that. I awoke when we arrived at a beautiful blue house. It had a large, wrap around porch and fresh, green trees on either side of the house. It was so comforting, so homey. It was so unlike my expensive and stiff condo back in LA. I smiled and stepped out the car, grabbing my luggage. Just then, a truck pulled into the yard. A man with a backwards baseball cap and a plaid shirt stepped out of from the driver's side. He had dark hair and had a muscular build, plus he was pretty handsome. He waved awkwardly at Lorelai who smiled at him. From the passenger side, a boy with messy dark hair and hazel eyes stepped out of the truck. He was incredibly good looking and also had a nice build, with his defined muscles and sturdy shoulders.<p>

Lorelai stepped forward and motioned her hand towards the driver. "Rory, this is Luke Danes. The one who owns the diner, the diner I practically live in, for its food and coffee."

"And for Luke obviously but let's not make this all about me." Luke said dryly. He smiled at me and stuck out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Rory."

Luke turned to the boy, who I assumed was Jess, Luke's son that Lorelai mentioned earlier, and touched his shoulder lightly. "This is my son, Jess."

Jess turned towards me and gave me a nod of his head. No smile. No greeting. Just a nod. I smiled at him anyways and extended my hand. Jess looked at my hand for a moment but then shook it.

"Nice to meet you, Jess." I said polietly.

"Yeah, same." He said quietly, looking me in the eyes for a split second before dropping my gaze.

Lorelai clapped her hands together and said, "Alright, now that the awkward introductions are done, let me show Rory to her room and we can all head over for some food at the diner. Sound good, Rory?"

I nodded and shrugged my shoulders. "Fine by me."

Lorelai showed me to the guest bedroom and I set my luggage down on the bed. She promised me a tour when we got back from eating. We stepped back outside and all gathered into Lorelai's car. Luke sat in the passenger seat, which left me and Jess to the back.

He was reading a book and I glanced over to see the cover. I smiled to myself.

"That's an amazing book." I said.

Jess looked up at me, caught off guard. "What?" He asked.

"_The Fountainhead. _It's an amazing book." I repeat myself, smiling at him softly.

"You read?" He asked me surprised.

"All the time."

Jess only stared at me for a moment, as if trying to figure me out. I blushed. I wasn't used to people looking at me for extended periods of time. I turned away, looking out the window at my new home for the next year. It was a beautiful town, really. Very cute and small and everyone was waving at Luke and Lorelai and even Jess, who refused to acknowledge any of them. I realized, in the backseat of my Aunt Lorelai's car, that I was part of a little community, thrown right into the middle of it all. I was so used to the rich, snarky people I ran into while in LA. Now, it was like I had been transported to an entirely new planet. And looking around me, surrounded by three complete strangers, I should've felt uncomfortable. But for some reason I couldn't place, I felt more at home than I ever had before.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey, it's been a while since I've wrote fan fiction! But this idea popped in my head and I wanted to give it a shot. Let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	2. Sunsets

"Is it on?"

"I think so. Can you see me?"

"No. Can you see me?"

I sighed and threw my head back in frustration. This was my life. I would try to Skype with Dean and technology would fail me. It had only been a week and I already missed him like crazy. I just decided to just give up.

"Dean, clearly this isn't going to work. Let's just talk, no video."

"Fine. How's it going?"

I stood up and shrugged, even though he clearly couldn't see me. "It's not so bad. Like I've said before, Aunt Lorelai is really cool. She's nothing like my mom. And she has this friend, Luke, who owns this diner and he makes amazing food." I left out the part about his son, Jess. It didn't seem like something Dean would care about.

"Yeah, you mentioned Luke the other night, I think. How's public school, princess?" I could almost hear Dean grinning through the phone. He always made fun of me for going to the elite school in LA, while he stuck to public school.

"Dean, its fine. I have nothing against public school. An elite boarding school looks a lot better on a college application is all."

"I know, Ror. I'm just joking around. Hey, it's time for dinner so I need to run."

"Oh." I said, not even trying to hide the disappointment from my voice.

"Yeah, I'll text you though. I love you, Ror."

I smiled softly. "I love you too. And I miss you, Dean."

"Miss you. Bye, babe."

And with that, he was gone. I sighed and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. I fell back onto my bed, closing my eyes. Dean was so sweet but sometimes, it felt like he wasn't even really there. Like he wasn't even listening to me.

"Rory?"

Someone called from downstairs. I dragged myself out of bed and down the steps. Lorelai was standing there holding a frying pan in her hand with an apron tied around her waist. She smiled at me and did a little pose.

"Oh, god. What are you doing?' I asked. Even though I had only been living with Aunt Lorelai for a week, I already knew she was a horrible cook.

Loreai smiled at me. "I'm cooking, obviously."

"I see that. But why? That's what Luke's is for, right?"

Loreai frowned and looked down at the pan in her hands. "You've already killed my cooking spirit and I have yet to begin."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Aunt Lorelai, I just don't see a need for this. Why do you want to cook?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I know your mom cooks and I just, wanted to make you feel at home, I guess."

I laughed and walked over so we were standing face to face. I grabbed the pan from her hand gently and set it down on a nearby end table. Instead, I reached for her car keys and pressed them into her palm.

"I don't want you to cook to make me feel at home. That won't work anyways. I'm sure your cooking sucks and then we would just end up eating this gross food when we could be enjoying a delightful meal at Lukes."

Lorelai untied her apron and tossed it on the ground. "You're right! It would suck. Now, let's go get some real food."

* * *

><p>"What can I get you?" Jess mumbled as he stood before our table. He didn't seem very happy to be working.<p>

Lorelai beamed at him. "That's no way to greet customers."

"I hardly consider you a customer. Do you know how many donuts you've stolen?"

"Oh, but I pay you and Luke back in love." Lorelai said before putting her arms out and trying to pull Jess into a hug. He dodged it quickly and awkwardly.

"Stop it. That's weird." He said, taking another step back from her when she kept her arms out.

"Can I order now?"" I asked, feeling my stomach growl.

"As long as you don't try to molest me like your aunt over here."

I gave him thumbs up, indicating I was safe to approach. Tentatively, Jess walked over to my side of the table.

"I would like a cheeseburger, a side of fries, a soda, and a piece of apple pie."

Jess eyed me curiously and I glared at him. Didn't Jess know that you should never question a girl about her intake of food? It's rude. Jess just shrugged his shoulders at my glare and turned to Lorelai to write down her order as well. Then he walked back over to the counter to place our orders.

"So, Rory, how are you and the boyfriend handling the long distance thing?" Lorelai asked me.

I shrugged. "It's hard. I miss him like crazy but I don't know. He is acting kind of weird."

"Well, it's hard for him too. To be away from you, ya know?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I know. I guess it just takes some getting used to."

"What are we talking about?" Luke said, walking over and using a mocking girl tone.

Lorelai looked up and said, "Rory's boyfriend."

Just as the words left her lips, I saw Jess turn around and eye me curiously. As if he was trying to figure me out once again. I met his gaze and this time, he didn't drop it. I looked away after a few moments, though. I found his gaze to be fascinating in a way, and it made my stomach stir for some reason I couldn't place.

Jess walked away then and Luke followed behind him. It had taken me a whole week to realize that Jess's mother wasn't around.

"What's their story?" I asked Lorelai, nodding my head at Luke and Jess in the distance.

Lorelai turned and stared at them for a moment before answering. "Luke got his girlfriend pregnant when she was only sixteen. Her parents wanted them to get married but he knew that wasn't what he wanted. They were so against her keeping the baby that they convinced her to give him up for adoption. Luke never wanted that. Not for a second. And then something went wrong and she died giving birth. And the moment that Luke saw that baby boy, he knew he was always meant to keep him. Always. And so, even though he had no idea what he was doing, he raised a son. He had no help from his parents or her parents. He did it all on his own."

"Wow." Was all I could manage to say.

Lorelai smiled at Luke from afar. "Yeah, wow."

As I watched Jess move around the diner, handing out plates of food without as much as a smile, I realized how hard it must've been for him. To grow up without a mother. I had been so easy to think my life was so horrible but at least I _had_ a mom. And my parents were divorced but I still got to see my dad. Jess would _never _get to see his mother. He never even got the chance to meet her. I had wondered why Jess walked around acting like the entire world was his enemy.

It was because to him, it was.

A few moments later, Jess brought us our food and I tried my best to be overly friendly with him. I think it was working too. Because when he took our plates at the end of the meal, I saw him give me the tiniest smirk.

"Aunt Lorelai?" I asked, pulling out a napkin from the holder and folding it over and over again in my hands.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what she was like? Jess's mother?"

Lorelai gave me a weak smile. "I only know a little from what Luke told me. But from what I've heard, she was a great girl. She was strong willed, just like Jess. She was a fighter, though. And the doctors were sure that neither she nor the baby would make it. But she screamed at them, told them that her baby was going to be okay. And he was. She held on to the very last second, just for Jess."

I suddenly had such respect for this woman, a woman I had never ever met. And I had such respect for Jess as well. So, when we stood up to leave, I ran over to the counter, laying my hands across it. I stood directly in front of Jess, who was just on the other side of the counter, checking a customer out. He looked up at me, confused.

"Uh… can I help you?" He asked curiously.

"Hang out with me." I blurted out.

"What?"

"Hang out with me. Show me around the town. I don't know. Do something; I don't even care what it is."

Jess cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because… I need a friend. And I'm pretty sure you could use one too."

Jess thought this over for a moment, looking down at his hands. Then, suddenly, he looked up at me and nodded his head ever so slowly.

"Alright."

I smiled. "Alright. Get your jacket."

* * *

><p>"What is this place?" I asked Jess, taking a look around. We were on a small, wooden bridge of some sorts. The water glistened below us.<p>

Jess smirked. "Well, Rory, this is what we call a bridge."

I smacked him playfully in the arm. "Oh, thanks for that information."

Jess took a seat down on the bridge, dangling his feet over the side. I sat down next to him, mirroring his actions.

"I have to say, I didn't expect Connecticut to be so pretty." I looked out at the water and the surrounding trees and was taken back by the way it seemed to just automatically bring a level of happiness to me. California was gorgeous yes, but not in the same way Connecticut was. Here, everything seemed so natural. California was such a breeding ground for anything and everything _unnatural. _

"It's alright." Jess said, sighing.

"You're very interesting." I said, looking up at him.

His eyes found mine. "I could say the same for you."

I gave him a small smile. "I'm sure you could. So, what do you do here for fun?"

Jess laughed. "Oh, because Stars Hollow is just buckets of fun."

"There's gotta be something!"

He shook his head. "Nope."

"Your life sucks." I said teasingly.

"Yup."

"You're sure good with words."

"Yup." But this time, he looked over at me and gave me a genuine smile. To let me know he was teasing me. And I smiled back. He picked at a twig left on the bridge and tossed it into the water.

"What do you think of Ayn?" He asked suddenly.

I was so caught off guard and confused by his words. "Who?"

He smirked. "Keep up, Rory. Ayn Rand. Author of _The Fountainhead_?"

I shook my head, clearing it. "Oh, right. Well, she has a very distinct writing style, that's for sure."

"She's a political nut." He started simply.

I laughed. "Well, maybe… actually, yes. She is."

And that's where I spent my afternoon, on a bridge in Stars Hollow discussing works of literature and other various topics with Jess Danes. And as we debated over our favorite authors and books, the best music, and somehow our favorite food, I realized I had made my first official friend in Connecticut. And as the sun began to set over the bridge, all my troubles and worries over Dean and my mother and moving faded away, just like the setting sun.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for the reviews on the first chapter! I explained this is Gilmore Girls in reverse, in a way. For starters, this means Luke was the one who had to raise a kid when he was still a kid himself. The mother died, however, because this is still my story and I am going to stray from GG storylines. It also means Lorelai is the one to take in her niece. I think one of my reviewers was confused; Luke and Lorelai are not together. They are friends, for now anyways! You'll have to see where the story takes them! Keep reading! And please, keep reviewing! **


	3. Worst girlfriend award

"Kill it." Aunt Lorelai screamed at me from her place on top of the couch.

"No." I said crawling up the couch myself.

"Kill it, kill it right now!"

"I just said no!"

"Kill it or I will kill you." She screamed back at me.

"Call Luke!" I said.

"You think he will drive all the way over here to kill a spider?"

"That guy would do anything for you; he's in love with you."

Lorelai stared at me through confused eyes. "What!"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Haven't you seen the way he looks at you?"

Lorelai looked down at the ground for a moment and then cleared her head, shaking it. "Whatever. Just kill the spider, Rory!"

I sighed, realizing there was no way out of this. I looked around me for something to throw at the spider. I saw a stack of magazines near by. I grabbed them and took a deep breath. I spotted the spider and dropped the magazine stack on top of it. We both screamed.

"Did you get it?" Lorelai whispered, as if the spider would hear her.

"I think so." We stepped off the couch and were faced with our next problem, the magazines.

"I say we leave them there. Good decor, you know." Lorelai said, stepping away from them quickly.

I nodded my head. "Good plan. I don't want to see a dead spider body. It's worse than an alive one. I'm afraid it will come back to life and attack me even harder for killing it the first time around."

Lorelai seemed to agree. We hurried out of the living room and into the kitchen. Just then, the phone rang. Lorelai picked it up and answered. Then, a moment later, she handed it over to me.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Rory, it's your mother." Her voice was proper, like always. But It had been a few weeks since she had called and it was comforting to here that voice.

"Hi, mom." I said.

"How is it going?"

"It's going good. Really good. I just killed a spider."

"What?"

"Never mind. How is Paris?"

"Oh, just exquisite. I wish you could see it! Truly breathtaking."

"I bet." I said, finding myself smiling. I kind of missed her.

"I've been gone for exactly a month today. Time sure does fly. Although, I do miss you, Rory." Her voice was suddenly sweet and soothing.

"I miss you too." And I meant it.

"I've gotta run, business calls. Just wanted to check up on you. But I will talk to you in a few days. Bye, Rory."

"Bye, mom."

I hung up the phone and cradled it in my hand. For some reason, I was suddenly homesick. I missed my mom. And I missed California and Dean and all my friends. I had missed it before, but it was really hitting me in that moment. Like a tidal wave, it crashed over me, nearly drowning me.

A knock on the front door brought me back to reality. I walked over and opened it, and there stood Jess, looking pretty handsome in a fitted green tee and jeans. He gave me his famous lopsided smirk.

I tried to return the smile but I was just wasn't in the mood. He cocked his head at me in confusion.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just… missing home."

"Well, maybe this will cheer you up." He threw something at me and I caught it in my hands. It was a book.

"_Howl._ Jess, I've read this."

"Not with the pleasurable addition of my notes in the margins."

I flipped through the book, finding it filled with little notes and phrases all along the margins. I smiled to myself.

"Thank you." Was all I could say, looking him in the eyes.

He shrugged his shoulders. "It wasn't hard. Plus, that may or may not be your copy of _Howl, _anyways."

"You stole my book." I stated, glaring at him.

"Borrowed is a better term, actually."

I went to object, but Lorelai appeared behind me in the doorway. "Ah, my favorite little James Dean wanna be."

"And goodbye." Jess said, turning to go.

"I'm kidding. Stay, stay. We have some new magazine décor that we are dying to show you."

Jess turned back around and sighed. "I just came by to drop off a book. It's fine if I go."

"Too bad. You're staying. Rory, make him stay."

I looked over at Jess and gave him a stern look. "Jess. Stay."

He smiled softly and rolled his eyes. "Yes, master."

He stepped inside and I tried to take his coat but he just laughed at me. "Never try to take my coat again. It's too polite, too weird."

I blushed. "You have to understand, I have the most polite and proper mother on the planet. I came out of the womb saying, 'Thank you.'"

We walked into my room and I collapsed on my bed, laying flat on my back. Jess looked at the rows and rows of books I now had on the bookshelf.

"You've only been here for a month and it looks like you've been living in this room your entire life."

I shrugged, running my hand across my comforter. "I like books."

He pulled a book off the shelf and flipped through it.

"You going to borrow that one and vandalize it too?"

"What's your mother like?" Jess asked suddenly.

I sat up slowly, leaning against my hands. "She's the exact opposite of me."

"Very descriptive, thank you." Jess muttered.

I sighed. "I don't know, Jess. She's…. she's obsessed with her work, she's driven by power and money and she doesn't talk about her emotions. She's a perfectionist, but I guess that is something we share. She is frustrating and hard to read. God, I miss her."

"And your dad?"

I smiled. "He's just like me."

Jess went back to thumbing through books. It was silent for a long time. Then, I spoke up.

"Do you miss her? I mean, I know you never met her but still… do you ever think about her?"

"Who?" Jess asked, but I could tell he knew who I was talking about.

"Your mom."

Jess shrugged. "Not really."

"Why not? Aren't you curious?"

"Thinking about her won't bring her back to life."

"So, you just never think about it? Ever?" I asked, not convinced.

Jess threw his hands up in the air in defeat. " What do you want from me, Rory? I already told you the truth. I don't think about her. No. It's just… easier not to."

I bit my lip, studying Jess. There was just… something about him. Something I didn't understand but wanted to oh so badly. He was so cute, yes. But behind the looks and the brooding personality, there was something trying to scratch its way up to the surface. And I was going to figure out what it was.

I stood up and walked over to him, putting my books back on the shelf, just the way I had them before. He rolled his eyes at me but didn't say anything. After I finished, I turned to him, nothing but a foot of floor space between us.

"_Not_ thinking about her doesn't change anything either, you know. It doesn't make her any less dead."

His eyes found mine and I held his gaze, searching them for something, anything to cling to. We stayed like that, 12 inches apart, eyes glued together, for a long time. I'm not sure how long. But he spoke up first, still refusing to leave my gaze.

"Why is it so important to you that I think about her?" He practically whispered.

"I don't want to see you in pain." I answered, my voice shaking.

"Why do you even care?" He replied.

I took another step closer to him. We were now just six inches apart and I could feel his breath on my forehead. It tickled and left a tingling feeling on my skin. It was odd. Being this close to a boy I had just met a month ago. Four weeks ago. Thirty days ago. But in those four weeks, in those thirty days, I had grown rather close to the misunderstood son of Luke Danes. And he was my only friend. And that counted for more than he knew.

"Because I care about you." I said suddenly. And then he was leaning towards my lips. And I wasn't stopping it. And I should've been trying to stop him but I just didn't want to. And just as our lips almost touched, the sound of my ringing phone broke us apart. We jumped back, startled at the noise.

I raced over to my phone, flushing and bright pink. I flipped open my cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rory! It's Dean!"

I closed my eyes. Less than five seconds ago, I was almost kissing some strange boy in my bedroom. And now I was on the phone with my boyfriend, my boyfriend who loved me. If there was an award for the worst girlfriend in the world, I would definitely receive the grand trophy.

"Hey, Dean." I said quietly, turning away from Jess and trying to cover up my voice. But Jess heard me. I know he heard me. Because when I turned back around, he was gone. And I could feel the vibrations of the front door slamming shut as he walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks again for all the reviews! I hope you keep reading, things are going to heat up soon for all of our characters. I appreciate the reviews and I am happy you guys are enjoying this story! Happy Reading!**


	4. Just Friends

"Do you think I could make lasagna? Can't be that hard, right?"

I didn't even glance up from my book when I answered my crazy aunt. "We've been over this. Cooking and you equals disaster."

Lorelai thought about this for a moment and then nodded. "You're right, you're right. I could do a more basic lasagna maybe. Like, just noodles. You just boil those in oil or something, right?"

"Water works too." I said dryly.

"Right, right. Water. That's what I meant."

"I've spent many times staring down my mom as she makes dinner. It doesn't make the food cook any faster, sadly."

"That is sad." Lorelai said, nodding. "Well, I need to get to work. What are you doing on this lovely Saturday?"

I shrugged my shoulders and closed my book, placing it in my lap. "I don't know. Phone date with Dean, homework, and some reading."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Oh my god, go drink or something!"

"What?" I gasped. "You want me to go drink!"

"No, but I just mean… you're sixteen years old! It's Saturday! You're supposed to be out doing something fun and exciting. Not sitting at home doing homework. God, that's boring."

I laughed. "Sorry I'm not more exciting!"

"Go hang out with Jess, never a dull moment with_ that _kid."

"Uh….. I… I can't. He's busy." I stated awkwardly.

Lorelai eyed me curiously. "No, he's not. Luke said he has the day off."

I sat up, tucking my hair behind my ears. "Well…. he's working on… homework."

She threw her hand back and laughed. "Rory, I have never in my life seen Jess work on homework. Don't give me that line. What happened?"

I took a deep breath and decided it was best just to tell her. "Well, remember a few weeks ago? When Jess came over?"

"Yes, go on."

I bit my lip, trying to think of the best way to say it. "Well, I don't know what happened exactly but… we almost kissed."

Lorelai's eyes grew wide and she gasped out loud. "Wait…. how… what…. you almost…. wait… what!"

I covered my face with my hands. "I know, I know! I'm horrible. I'm a terrible person and girlfriend and just….. I suck. I suck so bad. I'm the highest form of suck ever possible in the entire sucky universe of suckiness."

Lorelai just stared at me with her mouth open. Finally, she regained the ability to form words. "Ror, this is… this is…. interesting."

"He's been avoiding me ever since. And I haven't exactly tried to talk to him either. I don't know. Jess just leaned into kiss me and I didn't try to stop him and then my phone went off and it was Dean and I am horrible, right?"

"Honey, you're not horrible. Jess has got that bad boy thing going on. I get it. But, there's a lot you don't know about him."

"What do you mean?"

Lorelai sighed, clearly searching for the right words. "Jess is….. he's been through…a lot."

I nodded. "I know this. His mom died giving birth. Luke had to raise him on his own. He doesn't have a mother. That's a lot to handle."

Lorelai closed her eyes and said softly, "There's more."

"What?"

"After Luke lost his girlfriend, Leah at sixteen, he turned to his girlfriend's best friend, Nicole. He needed someone to cling to and she was there. They started dating and things went well for awhile. She was in Jess's life for a while but they broke up and she left. The problem was, she would always come back. Sometimes for only a day, a week, a month here or there. Then she would be gone again. And to this day, she still comes and goes. She's the closest thing to a mother Jess has. And so whenever she leaves, it kills him all over again."

"Why does Luke let her come back into their life then?"

Lorelai shook her head. "My best guess is that she reminds him of Leah. Nicole is like the last thread of Leah he has left. And he loves her, not in the same way he loved Leah, but he really does. Jess is just so confused. She comes and goes, she inconsistent. She's a real piece of work, that one."

"You hate her?"

"I really do." Lorelai agreed. "So, just be careful with Jess's heart. He's been through more than a 16 year old boy should have to go through."

I nodded and Lorelai stood up and kissed my forehead. Then, she grabbed her keys and walked out the front door. I sat there for a while, thinking over anything. The more I learned about Jess, the more I saw how screwed up his past was.

Not only did his mother die, but the closest thing he had to a mother figure just came and left whenever she felt like it. He was broken and confused, trying to find his way. And here I was, toying with his emotions, almost kissing him. Kissing him! I had to apologize. I had to make things right.

I bolted out the door and walked to Luke's. I stepped inside and Luke smiled at waved me over.

"Hey, Rory! What's up?"

"I was just looking for Jess. Is he around?"

"He's upstairs, actually. You can just go up there if you want."

I smiled. "Thanks, Luke! Happy Saturday!"

"You too, kid."

I walked up the steps and knocked on the door to their small apartment. Jess opened it and stared at me, shocked to see me at his door.

"Hey." I said softly.

"Hi."

"Um, can I talk to you?"

Jess shrugged. "I guess."

"Jess, I'm really sorry about what happened. I don't want you to think…. I mean, me and you…. we're friends. That's…. that's all. I am really sorry if I've led you to believe there is more but I love my boyfriend. I don't want to screw things up. I'm sorry… this is awkward."

Jess started at me, his expression unreadable. He wasn't mad, sad, happy, relieved. He was just… nothing. I waited for him to say something but he didn't. I looked towards the ground, uncomfortable.

"I hope we can still be friends. Um… that's all. I am really sorry about all this and-"

"Rory." Jess said softly.

I looked up at him, my cheeks flushed.

"I'm willing to forget this conversation ever happened if you went to the bookstore with me. Right now."

I gave him a small smile. "Sounds like a plan. Friends?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever."

I laughed and together, we walked to the bookstore. We talked casually and just like that, the almost kiss was forgotten. We were friends again. We entered the store, the bell ringing above us.

"Ah, I love the smell of books." I said, smiling.

"Nerd." Jess mumbled. I shoved him playfully.

Jess let out a laugh and shoved me back. "So, have you read _I married a Communist_?"

And we were officially back; me and Jess, the friends who spoke of literature and music and filled our conversation with words that only made sense to us. We were in our own little planet of perfection, a world that we found comfort in, a world with meaning. And walking around the bookstore with Jess Danes that day, I realized that I had never felt that way with anyone before. Even with Dean, we couldn't talk about books, not in the way me and Jess could. We made sense together.

As friends, of course.

Just friends.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry these keep sucking and are so short. I promise, the chapters will get better. I'm just trying to update often. Sorry! But anyways, if you didn't catch on, since this is Gilmore Girls in reverse, Nicole is like the Chris of this story. The dad who just kinda shows up... but leaves again... Nicole is like that to Jess, even though she's not his real mother. And someone said they'd like to see flashbacks of Luke and his girlfriend? I'd love to do that BUT this story is told from Rory's POV, so I will have him sit down with rory and have a conversation about it sometime! **

**KEEP READING. it gets better i swear!**


	5. In another life

"Lorelai, you can't keep this up forever."

"I know, Luke. I know but do you really think it's as easy as you say it is?"

"I don't know, the truth is never easy. And I know everything that was done, was done out of love and protection but Lor, it's gotta end sometime." Luke's voice said soothingly.

"Look, we will talk about this later, alright? I need to get some sleep." Lorelai whispered.

"Alright. Good night." I heard the sound of footsteps walking away and Luke's truck starting.

I ran away from the slightly open front door and hopped on the couch in the living room. I pretended to be watching TV as Lorelai walked back inside. I had overheard her and Luke talking on the porch and decided to snoop. Their words had been confusing to me, however.

What were they talking about?

And who?

I repeated their words over and over again in my head. Luke had told Lorleai that she couldn't keep this up forever. Keep what up forever? And then, Luke had said that even though everything was done out of love and protection, it had to end sometime. What had to end sometime? And suddenly, it hit me.

Oh my god.

Lorleai spotted me on the couch and walked over to me, giving me a half smile. "What are you watching, kid?"

I shrugged. "Just surfing the channels."

Lorelai nodded and ruffled my hair for a moment. "Well, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Ror."

"Night, Aunt Lorelai."

She walked off and up the stairs then. I turned the TV off the second I heard her door shut. Without waiting any longer, I slipped on some shoes and headed out the door. I walked to Luke's, even though it was almost eleven at night. As I walked, I fought back tears. Suddenly, their conversation could not have been clearer to me.

With a sigh, I knocked gently on the door. Jess was down in the diner, cleaning up. He looked up at the sound of the knock and gave me a curious glance.

A moment later, he opened the door.

"Rory."

I gave him a small, half hearted smile. "Hey, Jess."

"I would say I'm surprised to see you here but nothing you do really surprises me anymore."

"I'm actually here to see Luke."

He laughed. "Ror, should've told me you had the hots for my old man! I would've stopped hanging out with you so much."

I glared at him. "You're not amusing."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I like to think otherwise. Come in." He motioned me in with his hand and held the door open for me.

"Thanks." I said, stepping inside the dark diner. "Is he upstairs?"

"Yeah, he just got home a few minutes ago."

"I know." I mumbled. "He was on the porch talking to my Aunt."

"So what?" Jess asked, sitting down on one of the bar stools at the counter.

I sighed. "It was a fishy conversation. And I have this gut feeling that it was about me."

"I'm confused."

"That makes two of us. Can I go up?" I asked, already walking towards the stairs.

"Why not?" Jess said, throwing his hands up in the air.

I made my way up the steps quickly and knocked on the door. Luke opened it and stared at me, clearly confused.

"Rory?"

"It's gotta end sometime." I said, fighting the tears again. "Lorelai wants me to leave, doesn't she?"

Luke was too shocked to even speak. He just stared at me, trying to figure out what was happening.

"I heard you two on the porch." I said, crossing my hands over my chest. "You said she couldn't keep this up forever and that it had to end eventually. It was pretty obvious to me what you were talking about."

Luke finally caught on. He grabbed my shoulder gently. "Rory! No, no, no! You have got it all wrong. That is not what we were talking about."

Now I was the one confused. "It wasn't?"

He smiled. "No, of course not. Lorelai loves having you here! We all do."

I felt myself release a breath I hadn't even known I was holding. "Oh."

Luke suddenly pulled me into an unexpected hug. I hesitated for a moment before hugging him back. I had been here for almost three months. Only three months but in those three months, I had become so close to these strange people. These people who 90 days ago, I didn't even know.

He released me but kept his hands on my shoulders. "Don't ever think she doesn't want you here."

I nodded. "I won't, Luke. But what were you guys talking about then?"

He sighed and dropped his hands. He twisted the ball cap that was on his head. "It's very complicated, Ror."

"It's okay, I get it. It was rude of me to be listening anyways."

He looked at me for a long, hard moment. And then he said, "If I could tell you, I would. I promise you that."

I smiled. "Thanks, Luke. I'm sorry for barging over here. I was just so scared I was going to have to leave already."

"Of course not, Rory."

I sighed and we awkwardly said goodbye and goodnight. I hurried down the steps and back into the diner. Jess was still sitting at one of the stools. He looked at me and noticed the tears still fresh in my eyes.

"Did you guys just break up or something?"

I couldn't help but laugh. And I laughed and laughed until I was crying from laughing so hard. All the while, Jess just stared at me as if I was the craziest person on the planet. And in that moment, I probably was. I was so happy I wasn't being shipped away again.

"Jess, do you want to get out of here?" I asked breathless from my laughter.

He smirked. "The bridge?"

I smiled and nodded my head. "The bridge."

* * *

><p>"Do you think we're destined to screw up, just like our parents?" Jess asked hoarsely.<p>

We were lying on our backs, side by side, on the bridge. Our feet dangled over the edge. The stars were over our head, beautiful and sparkling. It was way past midnight.

I shrugged, still looking up at the stars. "I don't know. Probably. But you know what? I'm glad my parents got divorced. They were so unhappy."

"I've heard Luke say that if she hadn't died that day…. he knows without a shadow of a doubt that they would still be together." Jess says quietly.

I am so taken back by his words. He hardly ever talked about his mother. I couldn't let this moment get away. I had to keep him going.

"She was a fighter. She fought for you."

"But in the end, it wasn't enough. She still died. That's what I mean, Rory. We are destined to the same horrible fate. Love is such a screwed up mess. All it really does is cause chaos and pain and destruction."

"You've obviously never been in love." I said, my voice just about a whisper.

Jess turned his head towards me at this. "Oh, I forgot. You're madly in love with your sexy, LA boyfriend."

I shook my head. "He's not like that."

"Then what is he like?"

I sighed. It felt so weird to be talking about Dean with Jess. The two didn't go together, in any sense. "He's sweet and kind and-"

"-and boring." Jess interrupted.

I slapped his arm playfully. "No! He is not boring."

"I don't even know him, but I can tell he's not your type."

I lifted my head up, leaning it against my arm as I turned to him. "How could you possibly know he's not my type? This is the first I've ever spoken of him. And you don't even know what my type is!"

Jess followed my lead and leaned his head on his arm as well. Our faces were inches apart. "He's boring, Rory. And you are the farthest thing from boring. You're intriguing and odd and you know about real music and real books. You deserve to be with someone who can keep up with you, not just trail behind you."

"And who would that be?" I asked softly.

Jess met my gaze again and gave me a small, sexy smirk. "Someone who isn't in LA, that's for sure."

I couldn't help but smile. I was so terribly afraid he was going to try to kiss me again. Mostly, I was afraid because I knew I wouldn't stop him. So, I laid back down on my back and looked back up at the stars.

"I thought my Aunt was kicking me out today."

Jess was still leaning on his hand and he looked over at me. "Why would you think that?"

"Because of what her and Luke were saying… I don't know. I jumped to conclusions."

Jess laughed. "You know, some secrets are meant to be hidden."

"I don't believe that. Secrets hurt people."

"The truth hurts worse, though."

Jess laid back down on his back. With a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair.

"We aren't, you know." I said, closing my eyes.

"Aren't what?"

"Destined to end up like our parents. We have seen their lives fall to pieces and now we can stop ours from doing the same."

"I lied. When I said I don't ever think about her." Jess said. I could tell it was nearly impossible for him to admit it.

"I know." Was all I could think of to say.

It was quiet for a long time, then. We sat there, facing the stars and our hearts and our fates. After a few moments of silence, Jess spoke again, his voice rough from lack of sleep.

"I just wish I could've gotten some time with her. Just a few years. Just long enough to remember her."

I didn't think twice about it when my hand slid over and found his. I interlaced my fingers through his and rubbed my thumb over his thumb in a soothing pattern. Nobody said anything after that. We just sat there, hand in hand, looking up at the sky. Nothing had ever felt more right in my entire life.

It didn't make sense for me to want him so bad. I had a boyfriend. A boyfriend I loved. But that didn't seem to matter. Jess was inches away from me. Dean was miles and miles away. Jess understood me, in a way Dean never could. In a way Dean would never be able to. Jess's hand in mine sent an unfamiliar warmth shooting through my veins. I couldn't even remember what it felt like to have Dean's hand in mind. I could hardly even remember his face, honestly.

I sighed, shaking the comparisons out of my head. Now wasn't the time. It didn't matter anyways. I was with Dean, so none of it could possibly matter. In another life, maybe me and Jess could be something.

But this wasn't another life.

And not enough sparkling stars in the sky could change that.

* * *

><p>"Kid, you look like you got hit by a truck." Lorelai's voice said as I came down the stairs the next morning.<p>

I mumbled something incomprehensible in response. Jess and I had been out on the bridge until sunrise. I came home and only got a few hours of sleep in before Lorelai told me it was time for school.

"Can I stay home?" I begged. "I feel sick."

"Well, you look sick. Alright, you can stay home. But get some more sleep and drink plenty of water. I'll be home at three, alright?"

I nodded and held my throbbing head. Lorelai kissed my cheek and headed out the door. I crawled back into bed and slept into two-thirty. And I only got up then because someone was banging on the front door.

I made my way to the door in a hazy state. I opened it with a yawn. Jess stood there, smirking at me.

"You look beautiful." He said, holding back a laugh.

"Shut up. I'm not used to staying up the entire night."

"Well, since you were too tired to get your worthless self to school today, I brought by your homework." He shoved a pile of books into my arms.

"Wait, how did you get into my locker?"

Jess rolled his eyes. "It's not that hard to break into a locker."

"You broke the law for me?"

"Is that really a law?" Jess asked confused.

I shrugged. "No idea. Anyways, thank you. I don't like to get behind."

"Also," Jess began, reaching behind him, "I brought fries."

I laughed. "You really know the way to a girl's heart, don't you? Come in."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I really like this chapter! I love the Rory and Jess on the bridge scene! Hope you enjoyed it as well :D Rory is really starting to realize she does have feelings for Jess. And Jess is just being cute as always :p I know exactly where I'm going with the secrecy between Luke and Lorelai and I HOPE to throw you guys for a big loop with that one! I wanted you all to be shocked when everything comes down to it.**


	6. Stay

"If you had to be an inanimate object, what would you be and why?"

"Are you serious?"

I smiled. "As a heart attack."

Jess and I were sitting down in the Diner, way after it's closing time. Me and Aunt Lor had stopped for dinner and when she stood up to go, I waived her off and said I would help Luke and Jess clean up and would be home later. Well, we had cleaned up two and half hours ago but yet, there I was; sitting at a table with Jess Danes, discussing random and obscure things while we ate pie.

Jess took another bite of the apple pie goodness into his mouth. "I would be a clock."

"Really? And why?" I asked, leaning my elbows on the table.

"Time is quite a powerful thing, yes?"

"Yes, and..." I agreed, motioning him with my hand to continue.

"And... it would be kind of cool to be in control of time. You could throw someone's entire life into shams by being even just a few minutes off. Like, what if because the clock was just one minute late, a lady left for work a minute late and because she was just one minute late, she reached an intersection one more later than she should've. And she gets hit by a car that should've hit someone else. But no, it hit her. And all because of her clock."

I stared at Jess, surprised by his answer. It had really got me to think. I was slowly peeling back the layers that made up Jess Danes: brooding, funny, sarcastic, deep, flirty... they went on and on and on. He was way more than just an adorable face and some messy hair.

"Wow, that's... interesting." I said, nodding my head and smiling over at him.

He shrugged. "What do you got for me?"

I laughed. "I would be a toaster."

"Oh, god." He said, rolling his eyes. He knew where this was going.

"...So I could cook pop tarts to perfection."

"I tell you the most riveting and deep and intellectual answer I can think of for your stupid game and then you respond with something like that!" He remarked incredulously.

I laughed and tucked my hands under my chin. "I can't be the smart girl all the time. That's exhausting, you know."

He smirked at me and leaned forward, his lips inches from my right ear.

"Maybe I like the smart girl."

It sent shivers down my spine and I found myself turning bright red at this flirty and adorable comment. And it suddenly made me very aware of where I was. I was in a diner, late at night, flirting with a boy who wasn't my boyfriend.

And I didn't mind it one bit.

But I had to mind it.

So, I shook my head, clearing it. "Jess," I said, leaning away from him and his lips.

He leaned back as well. "Yes, Cali?"

I glared at him. He had made habit of sometimes referring to me as Cali since I was from California.

"I should really get home." I stood up and pushed my chair into the table.

He stood up as well and said, "Let me walk you home. It's late."

I hesitated. I wanted him to. So badly. But that scared me, because I shouldn't want him to. But in the end, his sexy smirk won me over. I nodded and we walked out onto the street together.

"Thanks for tonight, Jess."

He nudged me with his shoulder. "You're the one who decided to stay and help me. So I guess I should thank you." He paused for a moment and then asked, "Why did you, by the way?"

"Why did I what?"

"Stay and help me. You had to know we would end up talking for hours."

I sighed. "I don't know, Jess. Sometimes, I do things I can't really explain."

I saw him nod his head slowly out of the corner of my head. We reached my front door a few silent, minutes later.

He walked me right up to the door. I turned to face him.

He gave me a weird look, a look I couldn't really dissect. And then he leaned down as if he was going to kiss my lips but then he turned his head and kissed me on my cheek before I could object. The place where his lips had met my skin tingled.

I stared at him, dazed and confused. "Why... why did you just do that?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, Rory. Sometimes, I do things I can't really explain." He winked at me and then walked away into the darkening night.

* * *

><p>My phone woke me up the following morning. The ringer suddenly sounded so loud and piercing, I almost chucked it across the room and went back to sleep. But instead, I checked the caller id and when I saw that my mother was calling, I flipped it open quickly.<p>

"Hello?" I asked, my voice groggy and hoarse.

"Rory, hello! Are you sick? You sound sick."

"No, no. I'm not sick. I just woke up."

"Oh, well... I suppose it's probably pretty early there."

"Yes, it is. So, what's up?" I asked, sitting up in bed.

"Good news. I get a two week break as my vacation time! I'm coming home and Aunt Loreali is going to fly you out for two weeks as well. So I can see you and you can see Dean and all your friends!"

I screamed out loud and started giggling, like a little girl. "Mom, are you serious! That's amazing!"

"I'm glad you think so! I already talked to Lorelai about it so everything is all set. Your flight leaves tomorrow."

I squealed again. "Oh my god, mom, I have to call Dean and tell him the news!"

"Why don't you surprise everybody instead?"

I laughed. "Even better!" I sighed. "Mom, I am so excited to see you." And it was true. As crazy as my mother was, I had definitely missed her.

"As I am to see you, Rory. It's been almost four months!"

"I have to get packing! I will see you soon, mom! Bye!" I hung up and sprang out of bed, suddenly energized behind belief. I started blasting some music and danced around as I packed. I threw clothes into my bag at random. I didn't even care! I just wanted to get there as soon as possible. I loved Stars Hollow, obviously, but I was so excited to go home even for just two weeks. I could hardly contain my excitement and Lorelai woke up to my music blasting.

"I take it your mom called!" Lorelai said with a smile.

"She did! I'm going home!" I let out another scream of delight and then continued packing my bag at random.

"Hey, you might want to look at what you're throwing in there. One time, I brought 12 pairs of underwear on a trip but no pants. Only a pair of short shorts and a mini skirt. I met a lot of very friendly boys that trip, though. Oddly, my shorts smelled like peanut butter by the end of the week."

I laughed and decided to empty out my suitcase to see what I _really_ needed to bring. After I had organized my clothes better, I grabbed my top five favorite books and threw them into the suitcase as well.

"Ror, let's go to Luke's to celebrate!"

She didn't have to ask me twice.

* * *

><p>"I'm going home! Well, for two weeks, anyway!" I said excitedly to Luke and Jess.<p>

Luke smiled and pulled me into a hug. "Rory, that's great!"

I laughed. "I know. I have literally been the happiest girl on the entire planet this morning. Nothing, and I mean _nothing,_ could bring me down at this point!"

"What do you want, Ror? I'll make you anything!" Luke proclaimed.

"Three pancakes, scrambled eggs, and a coffee, please."

He nodded and walked away to place my order. I looked up and Jess was staring at me, expressionless. Lorelai noticed.

"Well, I should go over to the other side of the room and stand there awkwardly to avoid this current and slightly more awkward situation that I am currently experiencing. Yeah, bye." Lorelai walked away in a rush.

"You're going home, huh?"

I shrugged. "Just for two weeks."

"You seem pretty excited, huh?"

"Of course, I haven't seen my mom or my friends in four months."

"Or your boyfriend."

"Or my boyfriend." I agreed.

Jess sighed. "Well... have a good trip." He said unenthusiastically.

I cocked my head at him in confusion. "That didn't seem heartfelt."

"Because it wasn't."

"What's your problem?" I asked.

Jess took a deep breath and closed his eyes. After a moment, he opened them and began, "I don't know, okay? I just... you're ganna go home and screw this entire town and me and everything else."

I gasped. "Jess, no! I love Stars Hollow. Can't you just be happy for me?"

"Not this time." He whispered.

"Well, screw you." I spat.

"Getting a head start on your speech for your boyfriend, I see. 'There's this boy, Jess, he's an effed up loser so just screw him.'"

"It's not my fault you're so ungodly jealous of him, Jess!"

He laughed a cold and lifeless laugh. "Get over yourself, I am not jealous of Dean! He seems like he's got as much personality as a tree branch."

"You don't even know him."

"And you don't even know me. You think you have me all figured out, Rory, but in fact, you know _nothing_."

It was my turn to laugh. "No, I guess I don't know anything. Because the Jess I know would not be acting like the biggest tool on the planet. Have a nice two weeks, Jess!" I screamed and stormed out of the diner, ignoring my breakfast that was on the way and ignoring all the weird glances.

So much for nothing being able to bring me down.

Lorelai followed me out.

"Rory, honey what's wrong?"

"Jess is being a jerk."

"I'm sorry, Ror."

I sighed. "I know him, Aunt Lorelai. I know him and he's not like everybody thinks he is! He let me in and now he's mad because I'm going home. It's just two weeks! And he can't even be happy for me; he just has to freak out about my boyfriend."

Lorelai pulled me into a tight hug. I rested my head on her shoulder and squeezed her tight. She kissed my head full of hair and said, "Ror, he's just upset. And so are you. These few weeks back home will be good for you both."

I pulled away and nodded. "I know, I just don't want to leave on bad terms."

Lorelai nodded. "Give him time to cool off. Take a walk home. I'll go back in and get your breakfast to go, alright?"

"Okay. Thanks, Aunt Lorelai." I smiled at her and then added. "I love you."

She looked so touched by my words. She cupped my cheek and said, "I love you too, Kid."

* * *

><p>I banged on the diner door at eleven that night. I had waited all day. I was going to try to go by at dinner time but I kept putting it off. I didn't want to face him. But I had to. A roll of thunder made me jump and let out a yelp.<p>

It started to rain just as Jess opened the door and stepped outside, closing it behind him.

"What?" He asked, coldly.

"Just tell me what your problem is. Why were you being so mean to me earlier? Jess, I want to go home to visit. That doesn't mean I hate it here or that I hate you. It just means I am excited to see people I haven't seen in a long time."

Jess stared at me, the rain falling on his face and dripping off his chin.

"It's just two weeks." I said, shrugging. I shivered from the cold and the pouring rain.

"Rory," He said slowly.

"What?" I asked.

And then he crashed his lips onto mine without any further comment, without any further warning. His lips were on mine and the rain was falling around us and on top of us. His lips were warm and sweet, and his kiss sent shivers straight down my spine. It felt so good, so impossibly good. I needed more, I wanted more, I had to have more. And just as I went to tug at his shirt to pull him closer to me, I remembered exactly who I was. I pushed him away suddenly.

"I can't." I said, near tears. The feeling of his lips was still fresh on mine. I wanted to pull him back into me again so badly. I missed the kiss already.

He nodded slowly, as if he was expecting this. He didn't seem angry, he seemed placid. I couldn't read his expression and when I tried, he shot his eyes to the ground.

"I like you, Rory." He said, looking up and meeting my eyes. "I don't want to pretend I don't. That's why I'm so pissed. Because you're going back home and I don't want you to. I don't want you to see your boyfriend or your LA friends and live your LA life. Because I want you here with me, and not there with him."

I was crying now. Hopelessly. "Jess..."

He shook his head at me. "I know, Rory. I know. You can't."

I closed my eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Have a good trip, alright?" His voice was so sad, so broken, so heartbreakingly depressing.

He walked back inside the diner without another word. I stood there, on the sidewalk, in the pouring rain, for a long time. I'm not sure how long but I couldn't make my legs move. Nothing felt right and everything felt so off, so wrong, so messed up.

I didn't understand how I could feel so torn. Between two worlds, two lives, two boys. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to like Stars Hollow, like my aunt, like the man my aunt was clearly in love with, and I definitely wasn't supposed to like his gorgeous-eyed son. But I liked all those things. And even though it was wrong, it felt so right.

And as I finally made my way home, only one thought consumed me:

Jess Danes tasted like vanilla and peppermint.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: HI! I hope you enjoy this chapter... you'll see Rory back home the next chapter, and the aftermath of the kiss with Jess. Oh snap! REVIEW! Love you guys!**


	7. Not done with you yet

"What do you want for dinner on your first night home?" My mom asked, smiling over at me.

I smiled back. "How about lasagna?"

"Lasanga it is. I've gotta run to the store, though. You want to come?"

"Sure." I said, standing up from my place on the couch. My flight had arrived a few hours ago and my mom was there to greet me. I had missed her more than I thought I would have. I even shed a few tears when she hugged me at the gate.

My mom drove through the horrible, LA traffic until we reached the nearest grocery store, FOOD MART. Actually, Dean worked there. I tried to feel happy about seeing him, but all I could feel was a pang of guilt in my chest. _I kissed Jess. I kissed Jess. I kissed Jess._

I hurried inside, behind my mother. I looked so out of place next to her. I was in blue jeans and a black hoodie; she was wearing dress pants and a red blazer with heels.

My mom grabbed things off of shelves and talked about Paris and her amazing team and her insane, hectic life. I told her about living in a small town and going to public school and walking anywhere I wanted to go. I told her about Luke and Jess, leaving out the whole Jess liking me thing.

"Luke Danes? My sister has been in love with him forever."

I smiled. "It's totally obvious. But I guess his dead girlfriend's best friend is in his life... well, she comes and goes when she wants to. Her name is Nicole."

My mom nodded. "Yes, I know Nicole. You're forgetting I used to live there, Rory."

"Why did you get out but Aunt Lorelai never did?" I asked, grabbing a box of pop tarts and throwing it in the cart.

She shrugged. "I don't know, really. I hated the place and she loved it. That's part of it, I guess. And I don't think she wanted to leave Luke."

"Is Luke the only man she's ever loved?"

My mom laughed a forced and stiff laugh. It confused me. "Oh no, she's loved others." Her words were cold and flat.

I wanted to say more but just then, we turned the corner and there was Dean. My stomach dropped in my chest. Not because it was Dean, even. But because of whom he was standing next to, who he was laughing with, who he was touching on the arm gently: Lindsay.

I knew Lindsay from school. A pretty blonde with a gorgeous smile.

I walked over to him confidently.

"Dean." I said.

He turned around with a smile still on his face from talking to Lindsay. The shock was plastered on both of their faces and his smile faded.

"Rory?"

"Surprise." I said quietly.

* * *

><p>He grabbed me by the waist and swung me around in a tight hug. "Rory! What are you doing here!"<p>

He set me back down and I looked at him confused. Wasn't he just flirting with Lindsay five seconds ago?

"I'm here for two weeks. My mom got time off of work."

He smiled and pulled me into another hug. "That's so great!" Linsday was still standing next to him awkwardly. He looked at her and then back at me. "Linds, you know Rory, right?"

_Linds. Linds?_

Lindsay gave me a small, polite smile. "Yeah. Hey, Rory. Nice to see you back in LA." She was nervous. Her voice sounded small and shaky.

"Thanks." I said with a small smile myself.

Dean clapped his hands together to break the awkwardness. "Alright, then. Uh, Ror? I get off work in an hour so... you want me to come over?"

"Yeah... of course."

"Okay. I will be there." He was trying to sound confident, happy, normal. But everything was off, like a slightly out of tune guitar. It didn't sound quite right.

He looked at me and then leaned in, hesitant. Then he gave me a small, awkward peck on the lips. This was my welcome home kiss? This was the kiss I had pushed Jess away for? Even when Jess's kiss had made my bones electrify with heat and passion and emotions and this kiss had been a polite, friendly, I-hardly-know-you-anymore- kiss?

Dean walked away from both of us then. Lindsay watched him walk away and then awkwardly met my gaze.

"How is... um... where are you at again?" She asked.

"Stars Hollow, Connecticut." I answered with a nod. "And it's great! How's everybody at school?"

"Um... good. G-great." She coughed then. "Look, Rory..."

Whatever she was going to say, I didn't want to hear it. "I gotta go. Bye, Lindsay." I pivoted around on my heel and walked towards my mother, who was observing from the end of the isle.

When I reached her, she gave me small smile.

"What's going on?" I whispered to her.

She shrugged. "I've been in Paris, Rory. My guess is just as good as yours."

I sighed. "I guess I'll figure it out later when Dean comes over."

She patted my back in sympathy. We finished our shopping and went back home. I sat at the counter as she made us lasagna. I watched her carefully, trying to memorize the steps and the amounts of everything but it was far too complicated. I ended up reading a book as the meal cooked in the oven.

* * *

><p>The doorbell rang and I hopped up to get it, knowing it was Dean. He pecked me on the lips again and he greeted my mother. Then, we went into my bedroom to talk. My mother had a rule about keeping the door open when Dean was over but I threw her a glance as we walked in and she nodded. She understood we needed to talk.<p>

I shut the door behind us, leaning my back against it. Dean took a seat on my mattress. There were no sheets on it. My old room looked so untouched, so empty. I felt so disconnected from this world back here in LA. And from all the people in this world.

I looked at Dean and wondered for the first time in forever what was so special about him. Why had I fallen for him to begin with? He was sweet, yes. But we didn't share any of the same interests. We didn't talk about _The Fountainhead_ for hours or discuss if The Fray should be allowed to label themselves as an Indie band or not. We didn't spend hours talking into the night. We didn't... connect.

Dean ran his fingers through his hair and it reminded me of Jess. Oh, Jess. I missed him already. Granted, I didn't really leave on the best of terms.

"So... how is Connecticut?"

"Somebody kissed me... and I pushed him away." I blurted out. I hadn't planned on telling him that. But all the sudden, the words were spilling out of my lips. "I pushed him away and I didn't even want to. But I did. Because I'm your girlfriend and I'm loyal. Dean," I looked up at him and met his eyes. "Are you loyal to me?"

He swallowed and let out a long, sigh. "Rory."

I shook my head, slowly. "Just answer me."

He stood up and walked over to me, taking my hands in his own. He pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. "I love you." He whispered.

"It's not enough." I said back.

"And I will always love you."

"Not enough." I said with my head pressed into his.

He kissed my forehead and whispered. "I am so, so sorry."

I pulled away. "No...you didn't." I knew what he did. I already knew.

There were tears in his eyes. "After you left, Lindsay and I started talking more and..."

"No!" I yelled.

"We kissed about a month after you left... and we've been seeing each other ever since. Rory, I am so sorry. I am so, so, so sorry." He was crying now.

"Did you sleep with her!" I asked, broken.

He opened his mouth to answer but then shut it again. He just started crying harder. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

We never even slept together.

"You slept with her." I said, answering for him.

"Rory, you have to understand. I didn't plan on this happening! But we have... a connection."

I laughed in his face. Well, it more like a half laugh/ half sob. "You have a connection! So you can just cheat on me! God, Dean, at least have the decency to call me and tell me it's over. What were you thinking! You were just going to pretend all year? What were you going to do when I came back home? For all I know, she would've been pregnant by then. How would you explain that one?"

Dean closed his eyes and took a long, shaky breath. "I never wanted any of this."

"No, you just never wanted me." I said through tears.

"Ror, I always wanted you... but..."

"But someone better came along. Dean, I get it. Okay? People change. People grow. I found a boy who I connected with, who I could truly be myself with. But I knew where my loyalty was. It was with you. And I knew that when I came back here, I would have to decide what to do. But If I chose to be with him, I was going to break up with you, like a decent person. Not lie to you for four entire months!"

"I didn't know what to do, Rory! I love both of you."

"That's not the way this works! You don't get to have both of us. But you're lucky, Dean. Because one of us doesn't even want you anymore. Easy choice."

"Rory."

"Get out of my house."

He stood there, hesitating. After a moment, however, he walked towards the bedroom door. He opened it and just as we stepping out, he turned to me.

"I really am sorry."

"I'm just sorry I ever trusted you." I whispered back.

He sighed and nodded, tears still in his eyes. He walked out and shut the door behind him. A moment later, I heard the front door open and shut. I leaned against the door frame and slid to the floor. And that's where I let myself feel my first broken heart.

* * *

><p>New Text Message<p>

10:40 am Rory:

I swear to god, I am not that type of girl.

10:45 am Jess:

Uh... hi? It's almost 2 am. And what are you talking about?

10:50 am Rory:

Oh, I forgot about the time difference. And nothing. Go back to sleep.

11:00 am Jess:

Well I'm already awake now. Thanks to you.

11:04 am Rory:

Jess... you were right. We are destined to end up just as screwed up as our parents. I'm sorry I ever doubted you on that.

11:07 am Jess:

What happened?

11:10 am Rory:

Nothing that can't be fixed with a debate. Do you think Death Cab for Cutie should've come out with that EP in 09? Personally, I think they were better off.

11:13 am Jess:

Rory. What's wrong?

11:15 am Rory:

Everything.

And suddenly, I was terrified to tell him the truth. Because I had denied Jess for my boyfriend, and now my boyfriend had cheated on me and broke my heart. So who did I run to? Jess. I needed somebody to cling to. And Jess was there. That wasn't fair to him. None of this was fair to him.

I was a horrible person.

My phone was ringing then. It was Jess, of course. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't face him. I couldn't tell him. I hit IGNORE and turned off my phone. With a sigh, I forced my eyes shut and tossed and turned all night long.

* * *

><p>A week passed. I kept my phone off. I was terrified to turn it back on. I was sick to my stomach. I was heart broken and bruised and dead inside. My mom kept cooking me all this food trying to cheer me up but I had just been cheated on by the supposed love of my life. And on top of that, I was being a horrible friend (more than friend?) to Jess. I wasn't in the mood to eat.<p>

"Rory, you have got to talk to him eventually."

As I spent so much time with my mom that week, I slowly opened up to her. I told her about Jess and the kiss and how I had pulled away. I told her about Dean and Lindsay. Surprisingly, she gave me really good advice and listened to me.

Who had my mother turned into while in Paris? And better yet, who had I turned into while in Stars Hollow?

"Mom, I don't want to face him."

"If we only did things we wanted to then this world would really stink, Rory."

I groaned because I knew she was right. With a sigh, I turned on my phone. I was a little disappointed to see I only had one text from Jess. I guess he wasn't the pushy type, however. He figured if I wanted to talk to him, I would. I opened up the text and let the words sink in:

Let me guess, Dean broke up with you and now you're terrified to talk to me because I knew he was a tool and even told you so? Because you don't want me to think I'm your second choice? Because you're not enough for him and that scares the hell out of you? Because you don't know what to do next? If there even is a next? Rory... just call me. I swear to god, you're overreacting. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Please... call me. I'm not done with you just yet, Cali.

I smiled at his closing line. My mom eyed me curiously as I read the text. I snapped the phone shut and looked up at her.

"So?" She asked.

I shrugged and said confidently. "I have a phone call to make, Mother."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello! Next chapter we will be back in CT but we will explain what happened in that final week in LA and we will see just where Rory and Jess stand as well! I know you're excited for that. Haha. Anyways, please please please REVIEW. Thanks, guys! **


	8. Tears and Kisses

"Go Fish!"

"Yes! I got the dolphin. I win."

"Excuse me, but are we five?"

"Excuse me, but nobody asked for your opinion, Luke."

It was my first night back in Stars Hollow. I was sitting around my Aunt's kitchen table playing Go Fish with her, Luke, and Jess. Of course, Luke and Jess were complaining more than they were playing. Naturally, I had just won the game.

"We should play again." Lorelai said, nodding her head.

"But look at all those knifes over there. Wouldn't playing with those be so much more fun?" Jess muttered, not even glancing up from the book he had his head buried in.

"Go home, Danes. You're sucking the fun out of our evening." I said before pouting my lip.

"Hey, I was just making a simple observation." Jess said with his hands up in the air in defense.

"Your observation wasn't appreciated." I snapped back playfully.

"You're just jealous I borrowed your copy of _We the Living _and therefore, you cannot re-read it for the hundredth time."

"You think Ayn Rand is a political nut so I really don't understand why you stole -not borrowed- my book in the first place."

"Mostly to annoy you. It seems to be working."

I opened my mouth to respond but Lorelai covered it with her hand. "Okay, I am not sitting here and listening to you to flanter any more."

"Flanter?" Luke asked.

"It's a mix of flirting and bantering... flantering. Flanter." Lorelai explained.

"You're not allowed to make up words. I banned that a few years ago, remember?" Luke said.

Lorelai laughed. "You think I actually listened to you? You threatened to stop giving me free donuts. Luke, you don't give me free donuts now. I just steal them. I've been stealing them since the beginning of time. God created earth, and all these other people and animals and crap, and then he created you and me and I started stealing your donuts."

"Who is flantering now?" I asked with a smirk.

"Shut up or you can start buying your own pop-tarts." Lorelai snapped.

* * *

><p>Lorelai and Luke went out in the living room to watch a movie about a half hour later. I was so exhausted from my day of traveling, but I didn't want to go to bed. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with these people, these people I had missed so terribly.<p>

After I called Jess back in California, he told me I didn't have to be so afraid. I didn't have to worry about him, he understood that he wasn't my second choice. He understood that circumstances change and people change and I wasn't just clinging to him because Dean had betrayed me.

Because it was true; Jess was never my second choice.

If anything, he was my first. But I was too afraid to do anything about it. Too afraid to admit it to myself.

I wasn't sure where me and Jess stood, however. We didn't really discuss if this made us a couple or not. And when Lorelai picked me up from the airport, we drove back home and Luke and Jess showed up together, so there wasn't much time for me to speak to him privately.

I guess now was our time.

Jess looked over at me from across the table. I gave him a reassuring smile. He smiled back and put the book on the table.

"Sorry I stole your book, Cali."

"So, you're admitting you stole it?"

He shrugged. "If it makes you happy to hear me admit it then, yes. I stole -not borrowed- your book. Want to go for a walk, Cali?"

"Sure."

We walked out the front door and onto the porch. As we walked down my driveway, Jess grabbed my hand. I looked up at him, startled. He dropped it immediately.

"Sorry, was that a bad idea?"

"No, no... I just... what are we, Jess?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Whatever you want us to be."

"So, you're my boyfriend then? Or is that too soon with the whole Dean thing? Because I don't want you to feel like-"

"Rory, we discussed this! It doesn't make me feel like I'm second choice, okay?"

I smiled. "Okay. Sorry. So, you're my boyfriend then?"

Jess smirked and said. "You could say that."

"Then you may grab my hand again, Jess."

Jess laughed and picked up my hand, interlacing my fingers through his. We walked down the street then, hand in hand. It felt so natural, so right, perfect.

"How was your mom?" Jess asked me.

"She's good. I had missed her more than I had realized. I know I rag on her a lot but she's still my mother and I love her, you know?"

"I know."

"I've always been so hard on her but she went through a really rough divorce right before I was born. She's always acted so strong. She's the strongest person I've ever known, really."

Jess nodded and said, "That's funny. Because my dad's the strongest person I've ever known. He tries to act like he doesn't care about anything, kinda like I do, but I know he cares. I know he's too in love with my mom to ever let go of Nicole for good. She's the only piece of my mom he has left now. But letting her back in time and time again, I don't see it as a sign of weakness. I see it as him being human. People suck and they throw us curve balls but we love them so we do stupid things for them."

I smiled. I loved when Jess opened up about his life. I squeezed his hand tighter. "Luke truly is an amazing father."

"Don't ever tell him I said this because I'll deny it but, I know." Jess mumbled.

We walked to the bridge then. We dangled our feet over the ledge and Jess wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I leaned my head into his chest and he kissed my forehead. We sat that way for a long time, not speaking but just enjoying being this close to each other.

"I could get used to this." I finally whispered into his chest.

Jess lifted my chin up and kissed my lips softly. I kissed him back. We kissed for a while, keeping it pure and sweet. Everything was gentle and tender and warm. We sat out on the bridge for a while, talking and not talking, kissing and not kissing, laughing and whispering and spilling secrets.

When we finally walked home, it was pretty late. We didn't expect Luke to still be at my house. However, when we reached my front door, we could hear them talking. No. Laughing. I opened the door just a crack so I could spy on them. Jess looked like he was going to stop me but then he was leaning in so he could spy as well.

"That show is ridiculous. Why was there a random smoke monster on the island? And that fat guy? How does he not lose weight, huh? No logic."

Lorelai was cracking up. I could just make out their figures standing a few feet away. After she caught her breath, she said, "Luke, it doesn't have to make sense. A plane crashed on an island."

"And what was up with that polar bear? There should not be polar bears on islands."

"Yeah, I think that was the point, Luke."

Luke smiled and laughed a little as well. They laughed together for a minute before Luke said, "I had fun tonight, Lor."

Lorelai smiled. "Me too."

And then, they were leaning into each other. And then their lips met. And they were kissing. And Luke was wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in close. I shut the door quietly and busted into a fit giggles. Jess looked mortified.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

I let out a loud laugh and smacked my hand over my mouth so nobody would hear me. "Oh, Jess, it's cute!"

"That... is not cute. _That_ is my father in there making out with her aunt!"

I laughed again and before I knew it, I was laughing so hard, tears were coming out of my eyes. Jess was shaking his head, clearly disgusted.

"Can I please go home so I can throw up now?"

I wiped the tears from my eyes and nodded my head. He came over and gave me a quick peck on the lips before he dashed off into the darkness.

I rang the doorbell, knowing it would break up the love fest long enough for me to walk in the house. Lorelai answered the door a moment later looking flushed.

"Why did you just ring the doorbell?" She asked, confused and out of breath.

I shrugged and gave her a smirk. "Why are you blushing?"

She didn't know what to say to this. Luke looked at me and mumbled hello before dashing out the front door without as much as a goodbye to either of us.

Lorelai pushed me inside and shut the door behind her quickly.

"Oh my god. I just kissed Luke."

"Yeah, I know." I said, laughing.

She wasn't laughing though. She looked terrified.

"I can't... Rory, I can't kiss Luke. I can't fall for Luke!"

"Why not? You two are so obsessed with each other."

She sighed. "Look, you can't tell Jess this but... he's been talking to Nicole again."

I swallowed. "What!"

Lorelai shook her head. "I know you don't understand, sweetie. And honestly, I don't either but...I'm not getting caught in some freaky love triangle. I can't do this. I can't believe I just kissed him. I can't believe he kissed me back!"

And then she was crying. She was sobbing into her hands and I ran over and pulled her into my arms. She crashed into me and I held her as she cried.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, things are getting a little crazy up in here! The next few chapters will change EVERYTHING. And you WILL find out what Loreali's secret was... not next chapter but probably the one after that! KEEP REVEWING. it means the world to me! thank you!**

**P.S- Holla for the LOST reference! :) My favorite old show!**


	9. No matter how hard you try

"Go get my coffee."

"No way! Because I need a coffee, too. I can't just ask for two coffees. He will know the other one is for you and that you're avoiding him."

Lorelai sighed and had her back flat against the wall of the outside of the diner. She carefully leaned over and crept into the window.

"I hope you know you look insane right now."

She sighed and stepped away from the diner. "I know, I know. How about you go in and get one coffee. Come back out and hand it to me and then walk back in and say you spilled it and need a new one."

I glared at her for a moment, angry that she was making me do this. I let out a sigh and said, "Fine! Fine."

"You are my life saver!"

"Whatever." I mumbled. I stepped inside the diner and walked up to the front counter. "Hey, Luke." I said.

He smiled. "Rory! Hey. Coffee?"

"Yes. To go."

He nodded and returned a moment later with my coffee in a Styrofoam cup. I paid and thanked him and headed outside. I handed the cup to Lorelai and then rolled my eyes and stepped back inside.

"Luke!" I called to him walking back up to the counter.

He looked at me, clearly confused. "Where did your coffee go?"

I slapped my hands together. "Funniest thing! I spilled it on accident. All over the sidewalk. Can I have a new one?"

"You spilled it?" He asked, looking at me suspiciously.

"Yeah. Terrible mess."

"I better go clean off the sidewalk then. It might scare off customers." He said with a smirk. He knew I was lying.

"No, no! Luke, you have a diner to run. I'll go clean it up."

"Oh, it's fine. I insist." He hurried out the front door. I ran after him. Together, we found Lorelai crouching on the ground, sipping the coffee I had just handed her.

"I thought you said you had spilled it." Luke said, throwing me a glare.

Lorelai looked between me and Luke for a moment before she splashed some of the coffee on the ground. "She did! See?"

Luke rolled his eyes and said, "I'll go get you a coffee, Rory." He walked back inside then.

"Sorry, I tried!" I said.

Lorelai sat up and let out a sigh. "It's fine. We can't avoid each other forever. It's already been two weeks of this awkwardness. "

I nodded. "You should really go in there."

"And say what? Sorry I kissed you, Luke. I'm sorry that you're so obsessed with your dead girlfriend's best friend that kissing you was a horrible idea."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Aunt Lorelai. Just like that."

The door to the diner opened again but this time, it was Jess. He handed me a cup of coffee and kissed my cheek.

"Luke told me to give this to you. Morning, by the way."

"Morning! Ready for school?"

"I'm always ready for education, Rory." Jess replied sarcastically.

"Right." I said before tuning to my aunt. "Go talk to him!" I hissed.

She shook her head and walked backwards down the street. "Some other time! I've got a job to attend to."

"Coward!" I called back.

She shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her coffee. "I can live with that title."

* * *

><p>After school, it wasn't Luke and Lorelai that I found in a conversation. But Lorelai and my mother, on the phone.<p>

I knew this because I heard Lorelai say "Jen, Jen, Jen," over and over again in this broken voice.

I snuck in through the front door and snaked around the wall. She was in the kitchen. I got close enough to hear the rest of her words.

"What do you want me to do!" Lorelai asked crying.

I obviously couldn't hear my mother's response but it sounded like she was crying too.

My mother does not cry.

"I understand, Jen, but I-... no, Jen. I love her too! God, how can you not see how much I love her?"

There was a long moment where my mother must've been talking on the other line. Then, Lorelai said, "I know what the plan was but things change, alright? I just... I can't do this anymore. It's tearing me apart."

I rushed into the kitchen then, exposing myself. Lorelai whipped around and wiped at her eyes. "Jen, Rory is home. I gotta go. Yeah... bye." She hung up the phone and stared at me.

"What did my mother want?" I asked softly.

Lorelai swallowed. "We just had some things to discuss."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Can somebody please just tell me what's going on? Why all the secrets, huh?"

Lorelai shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, me too. I'm sixteen! I am not a child. I can handle the truth you know."

"It's not up to me, Rory!" She screamed.

"I don't care who it's up to! I just want somebody, _anybody_ to fill me in here!"

Lorelai bit down on her lip and I watched as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" I asked softly.

"No."

"Great. Just great."

"Rory..."

"I'm going to Luke's! Don't follow me!" I screamed back as I stormed out of the house and onto the street.

I was so sick of this. So sick of the secrets. So sick of nobody telling me what was going on. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to curl up into a ball and stay that way. I could handle Dean betraying me but my own family? That was too much.

I texted Jess to meet me at the bridge. When I got there, I laid flat on my back across the bridge, dangling my feet over the edge, like always. I covered my face with my hands and took a very, very, deep breath. I needed to calm down. I had to calm down.

Fifteen minutes later, I heard Jess walking towards me. I sat up and Jess came and took a seat next to me. He didn't say anything and he didn't even know why I was so upset. But he took my hand in his and our fingers found each others, intertwining.

"What's up, Cali?" He finally asked after a long time of silence. At least we were comfortable in silence.

I sighed. "Do you have any idea what my aunt and your dad are keeping from me? Because if you do, I need to know Jess."

Jess squeezed my hand tighter and met my gaze. "I don't know anymore than you do."

"Everything is getting so confusing." I said, closing my eyes and leaning my head on his shoulder.

"If confusion is the first step to knowledge, I must be a genius." Jess muttered.

I lifted my head up. "Larry Leissner said that."

Jess smirked. "Smart girlfriend."

This got me to smile.

* * *

><p>After a few hours of talking at our favorite spot in town, we walked back to the diner. I was still pretty upset but Jess had convinced me to let it go, for at least a little while. We stepped inside the diner, which had just closed for the evening.<p>

"Got any homework?" Jess asked me, still clutching to my hand.

"Nope."

"Want to come up for a little bit?"

"Sure."

He led the way as we quietly took the steps. We didn't want to wake up Luke if he was already asleep. Jess whispered something to me about Luke having the potential to be an axe murder if awoken from slumber just as he opened the door.

I didn't have time to laugh, however.

Because there was Luke and a very pretty blonde with short hair kissing on the couch. Her arms were snaked around his neck and his arms were resting on her hips. They were kissing and giggling and acting like teenagers. They saw us about ten seconds after we saw them. Ten seconds too long.

Nicole and Luke untangled themselves from each other and shot up. At least, I was assuming that was Nicole.

"Jess." They said simultaneously. How cute.

"No... this is not happening!" He screamed.

Luke stepped forward. "Jess, please give me five seconds to explain."

"What's to explain! We've been through this before. You always let her back in. And I get it, dad. You love her or whatever. But did you ever think for five seconds how this would affect me!"

"Jess..."

"And two weeks ago you were making out with Lorelai! How do you explain that one, dad!

Nicole flinched and looked over at Luke. "Lorelai? You kissed her?"

Jess took a violent step towards her and pointed his finger at her. "You don't get to be mad at anybody! You come and go as you please and you just expect my dad to be here with open arms every single time. What happens when he doesn't care anymore! What are you going to do then!" Jess was screaming, spitting, furious. I had never seen him like this. And by the look on Luke's face, neither had he.

Nicole's face stayed calm and placid through Jess's outburst. "I understand why you're upset." She said.

Jess laughed in her face. "You don't know the half of it. You're a joke, you know that? The only reason my dad keeps you around is because you're the last strand connecting him to my mother. I hope you know that. I hope you understand that you mean nothing to him outside of that. Because we all know the second you leave this place, you will go and bang a few guys before you get sick and tired of them and come crawling back here for more."

"Jess!" Luke screamed.

He stepped even closer to Nicole. He was inches from her face and he said in a hushed, angry whisper. "You will never be my mother, no matter how hard you try. She wasn't a little slut like you."

Smack. She slapped Jess across the face so hard, the sound echoed off the walls of the apartment. I gasped and Luke cursed.

Nicole herself looked surprised. She covered her mouth with her hands and instantly started crying.

Luke was too stunned to do anything but just stare at the both of them.

Jess, on the other hand?

Jess ran.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: OH, the drama! :) Keep the reviews coming, they mean the world to me! This chapter at the next are the climax chapters! :) The turning point in the story :D So excited for everything to go down! Woo!**


	10. Life isn't a Fairytale

I ran after him the moment I heard the front door to the diner slam shut. I raced down the steps and just as I reached for the door handle, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whipped around.

"Rory, it's gotta be me." Luke said hoarsely.

I gave him a small smile. "Okay. I understand."

"I'm... I'm sorry." He managed to say. Then, he added, "I'm sorry for all that up there, I mean."

I found Luke's eyes and locked them with my own. "Luke, I know you're going through a lot right now and it's probably really confusing but... Jess doesn't deserve this." And then I added, "Neither does Lorelai."

He swallowed hard and shifted his eyes to the ground. "I know. But right now... I gotta go find Jess." He said softly.

I nodded. "Okay."

And then he was gone. I stood in the dark diner for a moment, trying to decide my next move. A part of me wanted to talk to Nicole, mostly yell at her, but I knew it wasn't my place. None of this was any of my business to begin with. The best thing I could do at the moment was go home and be with my aunt.

And so I walked home, the wind suddenly bitter and cold. I wrapped my arms around my chest, pulling my sweatshirt tighter around me. I walked through the front door and found Lorelai on the couch, watching more LOST. I took a seat next to her.

"What episode you on?" I asked.

"The one where the annoying blonde dies. Shannon is her name, I think."

I nodded my head, even though I had no idea who Shannon was. After a moment of silence, I spoke up just at the same time as Lorelai did.

"I'm sorry!" We both blurted out simultaneously.

We looked at each other and bursted out laughing. We laughed and laughed until tears were coming out of our eyes. Nothing was particularly funny, nothing at all actually. But we just couldn't stop laughing. Once we finally caught our breath, Lorelai was the first to speak.

"I love you, Rory. And everything I do, everything your mother does, we do it to protect you. I hope you know that."

I smiled softly at her. "I love you too. And I know. I'm sorry I got so angry. I just hate secrets."

She brushed a hair out of my face. "Me too, honey."

I didn't want anything between us. I didn't want to be keeping things from her. So, without thinking, I said, "Nicole's here."

Lorelai's face drained of color. "What?"

I sighed and bit my lip before replying. "She's here... Jess and I... we went upstairs and... there she was. He freaked out and she slapped him and Jess ran off and now Luke is looking for him."

Lorelai sat up and leaned closer to me. "What do you mean there she was? What was she doing? And she slapped him! She slapped Jess?"

"Yeah... he got in her face and said some nasty things."

"Rory, you didn't answer my first question. What was she doing up there?"

I closed my eyes, afraid to look at her as I answered. "Kissing Luke."

She closed her eyes as well and let out a breath that she had been holding in. She rubbed her temple and after a moment of silence, she said, "I should've known. It's always been this way."

"What do you mean?"

"We've always... almost had something, but he's always either talking to Nicole or about to talk to Nicole or Nicole just left and there is just never a time where he can fully commit to me because she's always there, even when she's not physically there."

"Why don't you fight for him?" I whispered.

She stood up and shook her head. "Because he has somebody, Rory! You don't mess with people's relationships, okay? That ruins lives!"

"Well, if he can't let go of Nicole then... why can't you just let go of him?"

She bit her lip. "Because... he was there for me when my life fell apart. It was a really long time ago but I screwed up everything and he was the only person who stood by my side. He was the only one."

"What happened?"

"You don't want to know. And it's not important, okay? I'm just going to have to learn how to let go of Luke. Because he will never let go of Nicole. Ever."

"I'm sorry." I said softly.

She shrugged. "Life isn't a fairytale. You don't get the happy ending just because you want one, you know?"

* * *

><p>I went to bed for the night then. Luckily, the next day was Saturday and I got to sleep in. I needed it after that night. When I finally rolled out of bed, it was almost eleven. I checked my phone for messages from Jess but there was nothing. With a sigh, I made my way into the kitchen.<p>

Lorelali was doing paperwork for her job. I sat down next to her at the table. "Hey."

"Look who finally decided to join the rest of the world."

"Do we have coffee?"

"Think about that question for a moment and then decide if you should still ask it."

I rolled my eyes and stood up and poured myself a cup. Then, I sat back down at the table.

"How are you doing?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "I'm fine... or I will be, anyways. Look, Ror, I'm used to this with Luke. The only difference is we kissed this time. And then he sealed his fate with a kiss from Nicole."

"It hurts though. I was cheated on. And I know that's not the same thing but... it hurts to know they chose somebody over you."

Lorelai gave me a small smile. "Yeah, it hurts. But I can't get in the middle of him and Nicole. I refuse to. So, all I can do is just lay low for awhile."

"I understand." I said grabbing her hand. I squeezed it tight and then let it go. "I need to go talk to Jess."

Lorelai nodded. "Just be careful what you say, alright? He's in a rough place right now."

"I'll be careful, I promise."

I headed outdoors and walked to Luke's. I had already figured he probably wasn't there and I was right. I peaked inside and saw Luke but no Jess. He could be upstairs but I doubted it. I knew where he was.

I walked to the bridge and there he was; at the end, dangling is feet over the , I walked over and sat down next to him. He didn't look at me. Just looked out at the water.

"Beautiful day." I said.

He didn't respond.

I sighed and laid on my back and closed my eyes. I don't know how long I laid there before he spoke up. I think I fell asleep, honestly. But when he spoke, it startled me and I sat up and looked over at him.

"Luke told me I was right... about... all of it."

"Well that's good, right?" I said softly.

Jess shrugged. "He said all this time he had never even considered how it made me feel... to have Nicole coming and going. He could only see how it affected him. So he kinda thanked me... not for calling her a slut but... for saying everything he was too scared to see himself."

"So what did he do? About Nicole?"

"I don't know. He hasn't told me. All he said was I was wrong about one thing. Nicole's not the last strand connecting him to my mother." Jess looked at me then and met my gaze. "I am."

"He's right. You are. And nothing can change that. Nicole can never have that connection with either of you. She's not your mother."

"It's weird because I hate her... but I hate her because I will never _actually_ hate her, you know? She means a lot to me but I just... snapped."

"Understandable. She's hurt you both a lot."

Jess sighed and threw his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. I kissed he cheek and then laid my head on his shoulder.

"This is our spot, isn't it?" I said smiling.

"No. We don't have a spot. We are not twelve."

"Jess! This is our spot and this isn't up for debate. We have a spot!"

"I'm going to push you into our spot if you keep saying that." He mumbled.

I giggled and kissed his lips. He pulled me into him, deepening the kiss. His hands ran up and down my back and I ran mine through his hair, breathing him in, tasting him. After a while, we had to come up for air. Our out breath, we pressed our foreheads together, trying to breath.

"We're pretty good at that kissing thing, huh?" Jess said.

"Apparently."

"We should get back on that then." He leaned in but I pulled away, laughing.

"No! I have got to get home. Plenty of time for kissing later."

"Party pooper." Jess said, standing up and helping me to my feet. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked.

* * *

><p>And when we reached my front porch and saw Luke's truck there, I should've known right then that something was wrong.<p>

"Oh god, what are we going to walk into this time?" I asked Jess.

He looked just as confused as me. "Better find out."

And so we walked inside and straight into the kitchen, where the screams were coming from. And they didn't stop when they saw us. In fact, they got louder.

"You have no right to come into my house, Luke. I don't want to see you right now! Don't you get it! This is killing me, standing here with you!"

"Let me explain! I need to explain, Lorelai!"

"You don't get that option! We've done this for years, Luke... and I'm not getting between you two."

"There is nothing between us, I ended it!"

Loreali started crying now. "You always end it! Always. But yet, you let her back in... Luke... I can't be a part of this."

"Because you're a coward!" He screamed back. "In every aspect of your life, you are a coward!"

Lorelai took a step towards him. "Don't you dare say that! You have no. right."

Luke shook his head and pointed at me. "You're too afraid to tell Rory the truth. And you are too afraid to be with me."

I stepped forward. "Oh my god, if one more person mentions the truth and doesn't tell me what it is, I swear, I will go insane."

"Tell her, Lorelai!' Luke screamed.

Lorelai was crying even harder now. "Don't do this." She whispered to him pleadingly.

"I never thought it was right to keep it from her... sixteen years, Lorelai. Sixteen years!"

"And I told you it's not my choice! Or yours!" She cried.

Jess threw his hands up in the air, "For god's sake! Just shut the hell up and tell her before I do!"

I threw Jess a quick glance. He had told me he didn't know anything.

Luke glared at Lorelai. "Tell her!" He demanded.

"No!" She screamed.

Luke shook his head. "Tell _your daughter_ the truth, dammit!

A silence fell over the room. I looked from Luke's dark and angry eyes to Lorelai's, filled with tears and shame and embarrassment.

_Tell your daughter the truth._

_Your daughter._

_Daughter._

"I don't... I don't understand." I whispered.

Lorelai couldn't meet my eyes. She sobbed and looked at the ground. Luke's face was no longer angry but soft and gentle as he looked at me. "Lorelai's your biological mother, Rory."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: YES, I am aware all of you already guessed this would happen. hahaha I fail at being subtle! :) There's a lot more to the story that you'll see next chapter :) AND SO THE PLOT THICKENS. And what is wrong with me? Why do I have Rory walk in on fights and kisses and secrets ALL THE TIME? It's like the only way for me to have anything important happen. I fail. haha. Anyways, let me know what your thoughts on this chapter are!**

**Fun facts: This is the first chapter I haven't started with dialogue of some kind.**

**Jess and Rory on the bridge and Jess saying "He said I was right.. about all of it." Parellels the episode where Jess finds Rory on the bridge and says Dean was right about all of it ;)**

**And Lorelai telling Luke "It's killing me standing here with you" Parellels the time she said that to Chris.**

**I like to throw in little things like that! Makes writing this more fun ;)**


	11. Falling Apart

Ever feel like your entire world is caving in? Like the walls you've spent years building and crafting to perfection are suddenly falling to pieces and collapsing on top of you, forcing the air out of your lungs, suffocating you to the core. That was how I felt in that moment.

"What?" I gasped through my tears.

Lorelai stepped forward, "Rory, please just let me explain before you freak out, okay?"

"You can't be my mother! That makes no sense!" I screamed.

"I know it doesn't, I know. But honey-"

"Don't call me honey right now! Who are you! Why would you do this to me, why would you lie to me!"

Lorelai wiped at her face. "Me and your moth- me and Jen thought it was best for you not to know until you were older and then she just was so scared to tell you that she kept putting it off and... Rory, I wanted to tell you, I did but-"

"But what!"

"But it wasn't up to me. I promised my sister I wouldn't be the one to tell you." She whispered.

"So if my mother isn't my real mother then my dad isn't my real dad either?" I asked.

Lorelai swallowed and broke down into sobs. Once she composed herself, she said in a shaky voice, "Your father is your real father. We had an affair and I got pregnant."

"You had an affair! With your sisters husband!"

"It's the biggest mistake of my life, Rory. Please, understand that."

"Just finish explaining this to me." I said harshly.

"After we told Jen what happened, she asked for a divorce. And when I told her I wasn't ready for a baby..." Lorelai paused. "Rory, she had been trying to have a baby for years! She wanted a kid so badly and I just couldn't do it. So, she raised you. And she stopped speaking to me entirely. When she called me to take you in for the year that was the first time we've talked in sixteen years! Sixteen!"

"So you both just put on this little charade expecting me to never figure it out? You thought I could move in here with you and not realize that something was off? Not realize that we are exactly alike? Do you take me for some kind of an idiot!" I cried.

Lorelai shook her head. "No, Rory, of course not. We were trying to protect you! You deserved a better life then I could give you!" She screamed through her tears.

I pointed at Luke from across the room. "Luke made it work! Luke raised Jess when he was only nineteen! His sixteen year old girlfriend had just died! He had no idea what he was doing. You could've done it if you really wanted to."

"Luke was so much stronger than I was, even at nineteen. I had just turned eighteen, Ror. Chris and I had always had this connection and... it was drunken night gone terribly wrong, Rory."

I shook my head, the tears still rolling down my cheeks. "You didn't want me. And then you lied to me about it for sixteen years. I can't trust you." I looked around me at Luke and Jess and then added, "I can't trust any of you."

I raced out the door and down the street. I cried and ran, cried and ran, and then suddenly, I couldn't run anymore. I leaned over and puked into a near by bush. I stood there, hunched over and gagging until I composed myself. Then, I made my way to the bus station. Without thinking about it too much, or at all, I got on the bus.

Two hours later, I stood at his doorstep. I rang the bell and he opened it, surprised to seem me, of course.

"Rory." He gasped.

That's all it took. I broke down into gut-wrenching sobs and he held me as I cried. And even though he had lied to me too, even though he was just as bad as everyone else, I found myself whispering through my sobs over and over again_, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy._

* * *

><p>"Just explain it to me. And I will try my best not to get angry. And dad?"<p>

"Yeah?"

"I hate you right now. Make no mistake. I'm only here because there was absolutely nowhere else to go. You lied to me for sixteen years as well."

He nodded. "Okay. I understand. Where should I start?"

"Did you ever love my mom?" I asked quietly. He looked confused for a moment and I realized, I had to tell him which one I was referring to. Because I had two moms now.

"Jennifer." I added. "Did you ever love Jennifer?"

My dad coughed nervously before answering. "I don't know. I had always been secretly in love with Lorelai. But, I was dating your mother and we fought all the time. We were in too deep to ever end it. And my parents practically forced us into marriage, claiming it was time. One night, we got into a huge, heartbreaking fight. She told me she was going to leave me. And I told her I could care less. It was horrible and ungodly things were said. I ended up drunk and at Lorelai's doorstep in the middle of the night. We slept together. One time. Just once. That's all it took.

We told Jennifer right away. We both agreed it was a horrible mistake. Despite our feelings, I was married. And cheating is cheating. Jennifer and me got divored and Lorelai gave you to her. Not because she _didn't _love you, but _because _she loved you."

I shook my head. "She could've kept me."

"Yeah, she could have. But she knew the better life would be with Jen. Jennifer has a steady job and a beautiful home. Lorelai was barely an adult. She had nothing."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "God, this is all too much to wrap my head around."

My dad kissed my forehead before I could object. "I'm so sorry, kid. For everything."

"Yeah, me too. You're ganna make me go home, aren't you?"

"Yeah. And Ror, go easy on Lorelai. She really wanted to tell you. Jennifer was the one who wanted to wait."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I can't promise that. I am so angry and confused and tired."

He nodded. "I understand. But we are all human. We make mistakes. Not telling you the second you were old enough to understand, that was a big one. Can I drive you home?"

"I guess so."

I tried to get my dad to drop me off but somehow he ended up coming inside with me. To our surprise, Lorelai wasn't there.

"Well, I know she isn't at Luke's. I can't imagine how mad she is at him for outing her secret like that."

My dad nodded. "Maybe she's at your grandmothers"

I shrugged. "It's possible. Look, dad, I can stay here by myself. You can go."

"I need to call Lor first. See where she is."

He pulled out his cell phone and walked into the other room. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning against the wall. I had never been so exhausted in my entire life.

A few minutes later, my dad returned and said, "I'm ganna stay here with you for the night. Lorelai's at Emily's. She said she'll see you in the morning."

"She's really my mother?" I asked randomly, still unable to comprehend the events of the day.

He gave me a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, kid. She's really your mother."

"I hate her. And you. And Luke and Jess and definitely Jennifer."

My dad sighed. "Jennifer still raised you, Rory. She's still your mother."

"No mother would lie to their child for sixteen years." I mumbled. "Look, I need to go for a walk, dad. I'll be back in later."

Before he could object, I walked out of the house and slammed the door. It was near dark now and although I was freezing, I walked around town until I reached the gazebo. I was going to go to the bridge, but I was terrified Jess would be there waiting for me and I couldn't deal with him yet.

I laid flat on my back in the middle of the gazebo, staring up at its roof. All around me, I heard the sounds of the Connecticut night and as these sounds swirled around me, all I could seem to focus on was the fact that my entire life had been a lie. One, big, fat lie. And every single person I had ever trusted played a part in that lie.

I couldn't go home to California. My mother, Jennifer, was a liar. I didn't want to go to Lorelai's house, my father was there and he too was a liar. I didn't want to wake up in the guest bed, because then Lorelai, my other mother, would be home and she was a liar. I didn't want to see Luke or Jess, because they were liars too.

Liars. Liars. Liars. All of them.

"Hey."

I opened my eyes and there he was, Jess Danes, standing over me. Why wasn't I surprised?

"Hi." I responded curtly.

He sighed and held his hand out for me to stand up. I ignored it and stood up on my own. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him.

"I'm sorry about the thing with your mom."

"You lied."

"Rory, come on. I had to! It wasn't my-"

"It wasn't your secret to tell? Everyone keeps saying that! Well, it doesn't matter whose secret it was to tell because none the less, you lied. You told me you didn't know anything!"

"It was easier than explaining."

"Well then explain something else to me, Jess. How did everyone in the universe know about this but me!"

Jess sighed. "Luke told me a few weeks ago. He said I deserved to know and that he thought it was wrong to hide it from you. He's been on Lorelai's case about it since you got here. But no matter how times he urged her to do it, she wouldn't budge. She was terrified to do it, obviously. And Jennifer apparently made her promise she wouldn't say a word."

"You of all people weren't supposed to lie to me." I whispered.

Jess stared deep into my eyes, as if searching for something. Whatever it was, he didn't find it. Because, in the next moment, he let out an audible sigh and threw his hands in the air. "I don't know what you want from me. I won't apologize for protecting you from something I had no control over, something that wasn't even my business."

"I just feel so betrayed by everyone, Jess. I didn't need to add your name to that list."

He shook his head, the anger now evident when he spoke again. "You know, I understand you're shocked and confused and yeah, your family lied to you but there's nothing really to be that angry over."

I let out a laugh. "Are you kidding me! I just found out my whole life is a lie!"

"Rory, from the moment you suspected Lorelai was keeping something a secret; you've been running around, chasing the truth. Now you have it all figured out but yet you're furious! Why did you want to find out if you knew it would only make you mad!" He screamed.

"You have no right to yell at me! I did nothing wrong, it's not my fault my life is falling apart!"

"Your life is falling apart!" Jess spitted. "You have two moms, Rory! A biological mother and the one that raise you! Two! THAT IS TWO MORE THAN I HAVE! Before you start complaining about how your life sucks to someone whose life _actually _sucks, you might want to stop and think for a moment!"

I started to cry. "But-"

"Save it, Rory. You want to know something funny that's actually not funny at all? I thought once you learned the truth, you would be okay with it. Because you're Rory. You're strong and you're accepting and you're selfless. But the way you're handling this, the way you're treating everybody who was only trying to protect you, it's not like you. Unless, you were never the girl I thought you were, after all."

And with that, Jess turned and walked away. I called after him through my tears but he didn't turn around, he didn't even hesitate. He just walked away into the darkening night.

* * *

><p>I walked back home, swallowing back my tears. I was so angry. So confused. So unable to make sense of anything that had happened in the last 24 hours. I didn't know what to feel, what I was supposed to feel. I just knew I wanted to get away from everything. Not for an hour but for good. I wanted to run away for forever. I walked back inside, my dad looked up from his place on the couch. He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.<p>

"I want to move in with you, dad."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This chapter is kind of spastic and all over the place. Sorry. Hahaha. So, thinks are really falling apart for poor Rory. Jess can't seem to wrap his head around the fact that someone would be upset over the fact that they have a biological mother and a birth mother. He would DO ANYTHING to have his mother back. I understand his point. But I also understand why Rory is upset and running away from her problems seems like the best choice. Running away runs in the family I guess, since Lor ran away as well! READ AND REVIEW.**


	12. Making things right

"Rory, what do you want for dinner?"

"Huh?" I replied, lifting my head from my book.

"Dinner. What do you want?" My dad asked again.

"Oh. Whatever is fine." I returned my eyes to the book in my hands. I heard him let out an audible sigh. I was curled up on the couch with a blanket and _Howl._ I had crossed out all of Jess's notes in the margins.

I had been with my dad for three weeks. I hadn't spoken to either of my moms or Jess or Luke. Lorelai had tried calling many times but I had ignored them all. Because nobody was fair with me and now I would be unfair with them.

"Ror, I love you. But you can't keep this up." My dad said before taking a seat beside me on the couch.

I closed the book and narrowed my eyes at him. "I can and I will. I will avoid them forever."

"That's not ganna work. You need to talk to them."

I groaned and shut my eyes. "My entire world got flipped upside down and you want me to play nice?"

He smiled at me slightly. "Yes. Because you're Rory Gilmore. And that's what you do. You play nice."

His words reminded me of my last conversation with Jess. How he had told me that I wasn't acting like myself. How the Rory he knew would never respond in such a selfish way. He was right. I was being selfish. I just didn't know how to handle this. I didn't know what to make of the mess my life had ever so suddenly become.

"Ror, I didn't let you live here forever. I said you could come stay with me for a couple weeks until things cooled down and things have cooled down. Now you have to go be my girl and be forgiving and understanding and accepting and trust me, they will do the same towards you."

"I don't want to." I whispered.

He cupped my cheek gently. "You forgave me, even though I lied to you too. Even though I cheated on my wife and slept with her sister and ruined everything. If you can forgive me, certainly, you can forgive the other people who love you and care for you."

Again, he was right. I had to forgive them. Hiding out with my dad wasn't going to work for the rest of my life. I had to accept it. Lorelai was my real mother. Everyone and their child seemed to know about it except for me. My dad had cheated on my mother, Jen. Jen was not my real mother.

These things, I had to accept. These people, I had to forgive.

I laid my head on his shoulder then. He kissed my forehead. I stayed that way for the remainder of the evening, trying to find the courage to do the things I needed to do. To be the girl everyone said I was, the girl I _knew _I was deep down inside. The kind of girl to accept her life and move on. I was a Gilmore, after all. And Gilmore's are fighters.

* * *

><p>A day later, I called my mother, Jen. She cried and I cried and in the end, I realized she was truly doing what was best for me. And I realized how much she must've of loved me. She was willing to take in the baby her husband and sister had made together. She was willing to raise this baby as her own, to not resent the baby, but protect it. My mother may have been a lot of things, but a bad mother, bad person even, wasn't one of them.<p>

A day after that, I was on my way back to Stars Hollow. I had to finish off the year there anyways with my mom in Paris. Walking up that front porch was terrifying. I was no longer entering as my aunt's niece, but my real mother's daughter. My mother who was so much like me that it was almost terrifying.

I knocked on the door tentatively. After a few knocks, it opened. Lorelai stood with her hair pulled back in a messy bun and tired, sad eyes. She was a wreck. She probably had been since I moved in with my dad. It just took one look. One, sad look from her to realize that I wasn't the only one hurting, that I wasn't the only one in pain. And like a tidal wave crashing against rocks by the shore, I crashed into her arms. She held me tight and we cried together. We cried for all the lies that had separated us, all the wasted years, all the pain that had leaked its way into our lives. We cried and cried until there weren't any tears left to cry.

"I loved you, Rory. You know that." She said softly, some time later at the dinner table. We each had a cup of coffee in our hands.

I nodded slowly. "Why didn't you keep me?"

She sighed and licked her lips nervously. "I loved Chris. So much. But I knew he wasn't going to stay with me. And he wasn't going to stay with Jennifer. So I knew I would be on my own. And I didn't have a job. I didn't have a plan. I didn't have a single thing figured out. And I knew that if I couldn't be the mother you deserved, that somebody else could. And I trusted Jen. I did. She wouldn't even look at me when she took you from me at the hospital. She wouldn't even look at me because she was so betrayed. And I deserved it."

I took a sip of my coffee. "Things would've been so different if I grew up here."

She smiled. "You had the better life with Jen. You did."

"She did the best she could."

"We both love you. So much, kid."

I smiled over at her. "I know. And I forgive you. It will still take some time getting used to but, I will eventually be okay with it all."

Lorelai stood up and kissed my head of hair. "I love you."

And to that, I replied something that surprised us both. "I love you too, mom."

* * *

><p>Letters. I left him a trail of letters. The first one, I had Luke sit on his bead. This letter led to the second one, which was down in the diner. The third was hidden in the gazebo. The fourth, on my porch. The fifth and final letter? It led to the bridge.<p>

I waited at the edge, looking out towards the water. It was a few hours before I heard him come up behind me.

"I hate games."

I smirked and turned around before standing up. "I know."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "What are you doing here, Rory?"

"Making things right."

To this, he only nodded.

"Are you upset with me?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Not really. I... I don't even care, Rory. About our fight. I wasn't even mad at you. I was mad at the fact that you were mad over something so dumb. And I realize it wasn't' dumb to you but... I would give anything to have two mothers. And there you were, complaining about it."

I nodded and crossed my arms over my chest "I'm sorry for that."

He met my eyes then and held my gaze. He spoke his next words with such gentleness. "You're going to be alright."

I smiled at him. "And us?"

He smirked. "Like I said before, I'm not done with you yet, Cali."

I giggled and launched into arms. He lifted me off the ground and spun me around. When he set me back down on my feet, his lips crashed into mine with urgency. I pulled him tighter to me, remembering his taste and smell and the feel of his hands on my hips. And just like that, my crashing world was coming back together, piece by piece.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know its SOOO short, but I need to save some other stuff for the next chapter! We still need to deal with Lorelai and Luke! I'm sorry I didn't update for years but I am back and will update again frequently! Party hard! Review, if anyone is still with me that is**!


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